Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
quickit 24
YDI. Didn't those two years mean anything to you? I would rather have an awkward conversation than lose the girl I love.
Klima_fml 29
.. You tried to shower with your cat? Smart.
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Comments (117)
DogeMan 14
Was it really worth losing ur girlfriend? U should have speaker up and maybe she would of had a laugh out of it
Mrwhispels 9
that's not how you get pussy wet...
TomeDr 25
Why in the world???
Vitotaylor36 13
******* dumbass. YFDI
ligerzero459 24
Either you're lying or are a total pussy for not dealing with a little bit of embarrassment with your SO. Either way, YDI and good for her
Ki11erC 18
She can't mean that much the. And you're an idiot for not owning up (also for putting a cat near water).
Pyrithium 8
Pussy
Sophie_K 8
I wonder why you showered with your cat
Leawkward 6
Biggest question: Why the hell was the cat on your back? Your girlfriend was smart to break up with you and second you are the worst liar. Your story does not add up.
sullivankeara 25
Right.......