Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
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Top comments
EllieB123 5
Wow, what a bitch! :/
mrahhhhh 21
Tell her "I don't mind, I'm ******* 2 other girls."
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Comments (411)
oglefro 6
what a Russian sex *****
clairevoent 0
lmao. she runs her shit
babycakesxx 11
um...why are you still with her?
Noname7453 0
She a hoe
ashley1357 0
u should get a strap on that like 5x bigger then yours an make sure it stetches :)
bigdaddy18 0
slam it in her ass next time
fylnotmine89 1
91- I love the way you think! lol
perdix 31
Tell her you prefer the term "comfort-sized." Those girls taking the horse cocks in the pornos really don't seem like they are having that much fun. OTOH, think of the money you saved on the engagement ring!
cldean24 4
Yeah, 32 isn't ugly at all. You guys are really rude. I think I am going to look pretty old when I'm in my 30s. oh well, **** guys like those demeaning ass holes above. Glad to know I have a boyfriend that would never say that to anyone even if they were 50 years old!
Alicia17C 2
...wrong comment... and no one cares about ur home life...
Erindub 0
Holy geez! What a $
SubtleHints 0
Shit, dude. That's... really really mean.
adeadplayer 0
uk.... yaaaa