Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
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Top comments
EllieB123 5
Wow, what a bitch! :/
mrahhhhh 21
Tell her "I don't mind, I'm ******* 2 other girls."
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Comments (411)
zeeshanmukhida 0
dump her so she can be left tight and alone for some ******* time
wallc004 0
she is such a BITCH. my suggestion is for you to go to the nearest adult store and get the biggest "Mandingo" toy you could find and just wear her out with it. then leave her
gcapeles 0
this is beyond ****** up!!!
LolMoqz 10
fist her. with both fists.. teach her what being unloose feels like.
_TiaCup_ 0
A penis cannot make a ****** less tight. it goes back to it's original size.... so you really don't have a small penis, she's just naturally loose...
boo_bee_fur_me 2
well he could still have a small wiener but she's probably loose any ways cough cough nasty hoe cough cough sorry I got a cold
amoll6783 0
wow dude that hurts
starwarsguy330 0
Bitch. total bitch. Not only is she making fun of your penis she is saying she will have a better boyfriend at the same time. Why do people go out with people like this? if this was a one time thing( doubt it) then I can understand a little bit, but srsly? why the **** do u go out with mean people.
boo_bee_fur_me 2
maybe shes the best he can get
benthejunebug 0
dump her! dump her now!!
u_w8urtrn 2
dump her : ?
evistman 12
use her and find a new 1