Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
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Top comments
EllieB123 5
Wow, what a bitch! :/
mrahhhhh 21
Tell her "I don't mind, I'm ******* 2 other girls."
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Comments (411)
noname246 0
I like anysize penis.....
ShyAnn29 15
agreed, size doesn't matter to me
SchiTzenGiglez 0
I love when women lie ;)
Beebow_fml 5
I almost barged when I looked at 32s comment and thought it was a 50 year old woman saying that, then I saw she's only 30...
Darkhatchling 0
I don't think you have a choice #32. I'm sure you would take what you can get. FYL
UnicornHooker 0
I've never ****** a guy, so yeah, I can honestly say, any size is good for me. But I get off just fine with girls, so it doesn't matter.
laurabev 9
Uh, wow. I think 32 looks just fine, and she doesn't look 50 in the slightest.
amadais 1
some of those shots at 32 were uncalled for dont ya think?
duckiecrazy 0
size doesn't matter it's how u use it. believe me. ;)
UnicornHooker 0
Well, 32 is more attractive than me, and has awesome dimples. Lay off, guys.
iRiS890 5
That's rude. Doesn't look like you guys can be too picky either. Js.
dark_path 0
women often tend to lie about their age :P
NickyMikaelV97 5
werd
ShyAnn29 15
first off I don't lie! and I'm not 50! I am 29. I'm not surprised though that some of you think that, but it's still rude!!!
newzealandkiwi 0
are you for real about not been ****** or was it just sarcasm.
newzealandkiwi 0
# 92
scrapmetal58 9
ew 14 change your photo. I don't want to see that.
ilovehamburgers 0
Did nobody notice 14's picture?!?
xXshadowrollerXx 6
I know it was cruel and uncalled for, but #90 made me ******* lol.
Yung23 0
Lmfao that's so messed up bro
deer37 0
stick it in her butt n see if she still thinks it's small.
nmp1026 0
hahaha
haileemarie7 6
Ugh, good point. No matter what size it is, anal sex is always excruciatingly painful.
duckiecrazy 0
anal isn't that bad but if she's never had it u should give it to her and don't be gentle
imperialtl 12
stick it in her butt. I agree.
somerandomdude89 0
tear that ass up
CitrusGirl 0
Say it's ok her breasts are below average because you're saving your hands for your next girlfriend.
CrazyGirl445 4
powned(;
ElmerSniffedGlu 0
haha awesome
CateXOX 0
Powned? Irony?
HeJustKnowsBest 3
Better start saving up for plastic surgery...
Pizzamaster 0
for his dick?
agSWAAAAG 0
no for his ******....no shit sherlock of course for his dick!
LilOly17 0
you don't get plastic for a penis tard
CockRocket 0
Think of the plus side. Next time you're getting down and dirty you can be all SAY HAAALLO TO MY LITTLE FWEND. HIS NAME IS DANNY DEVITO.
SnailJamsss 6
You gonna take that?
alex1432 9
no she is
iRiS890 5
^lol^
Pizzamaster 0
a common bitchwad
paras0mnia 3
Atleast your not the guy getting leftovers :P
kristledaigle 0
the way his girlfriend sounds I'm pretty sure he had some left overs
AnagenisisZagus 13
That's ******, kid. I pity you.
RainbowHeadache 2
She's not very smart if she actually thinks a dick would stretch her out. And she's a bitch for saying that to you. Go find yourself someone who appreciates what they get instead of your ungrateful girlfriend.
some1strange 0
damn strait!
allmidnighteyes 11
Seriously. Unless you're into bowling pin play or if you've given birth, dick size doesn't affect vaginal "tightness" in any way. Your girlfriend's just a hoe, OP. Dick skills > dick pills.
xavieryz 0
disagree my wife was tight when I met her and now she's molded just right
RainbowHeadache 2
That's what you get when you don't do kegels or have babies.
Audi21 2
Hey Rainbow your pretty :)
Audi21 2
hm
Audi21 2
Your pretty Rainbow
caitibug323 0
Super tightness and pain means she's not turned on enough. During sex it's supposed to not be that tight and very wet.. so if it feels "loose" it's more that she's very turned on and just super wet. Sex has NO effect on the size of one's ****** since it's a muscle and will revert back to it's original size after sex. Education is fun :)
BogJuan 5
You're an idiot. Isn't learning fun? My gf was too small for us to have sex. Two doctors said that we need to have her do exercises down there till I could fit. Guess what we could do three weeks later?
packie123 0
hi Sally:)
acelucas 0
Ok, I have to know what kegels are.