grizzlybear
Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
John Doe
🌶️ Spicy
Shaving!
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
anon.
United States
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Ananimus
Peekskill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Munkeh
Birmingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Faithful
Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML
Anonymous
Oakville, Canada
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
here's a giant baby
🌶️ Spicy
Confusing
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Top comments
Hillaryy789 9
You deserve it for not having a penis.
chickunkey 0
Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.
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Comments (173)
Hillaryy789 9
You deserve it for not having a penis.
genesisnirvana 11
how does she deserve it? if her boyfriend wanted a penis he should have found a guy.
ddeboer4 9
it doesn't say a penis. it just says penis. I read it like she needs to get laid more and then they would have a better relationship.
emdee_7 0
lol people, people. this comment OBVIOUSLY has a joking tone. obviously a real woman can't have a penis. duh.
R4P7OR 2
dumbass...
rogerusmc23 0
did he say "no ****" shortly before or after his statement?
HiccupAstrid 1
nice Lonely Island reference xD
lashtx 0
I thought "no ****" originated on the adult swim show The Boondocks.
ColdplaySucks 18
My favorite song line: Big dicks in you ass is bad for your health.
sourgirl101 29
22, I read it that way too. It's if she "had penis", meaning if she was to have sex. Either way, it's rude of him. What a prick!
KMFiredancer 0
Hey guys... It says OP is male. That's probably why he said penis and not ******.
sourgirl101 29
96, it says OP is female.
ChickenInMyKitch 4
96, I don't know if you can differ between the male and female astrological signs, but that one, especially since it's pink, is the female's.
shenaniganry 3
30 - a 'real woman' can't have a penis? ******* hell, trans* erasure.
fthislyfe 22
tell him not to worry, and you'll **** him with a *****
nerdfighteria 7
#30: Your idiocy is astounds me.
j8steele 0
today, you realized your boyfriend is gay
laurieloulou 0
no, that sign means female.
GigaPudding_fml 24
Shemale style?
snade 0
I think he means that he hates her now and if she was a guy they could talk more easily or something
FurryPride 9
Just do what Phil did in the Hangover 2.
Mr_Chow 5
It was stu, fun party!
KennKenn 0
Get a strap-on?
sannamm 5
something tells me he's gay :p
Bella_is_my_name 4
^^agree lol
xlord 27
lol dicks to your relationship.
gene818 13
Yeah, I think a strap-on is the best solution for this case.
blondebrunette11 4
maybe its his way of coming out of the closet...
mfmylifesrsly 30
dammit 3 that was my idea. :( OP before you get a strap on be sure to ask your boyfriend what his size preference is!
DeadxManxWalking 27
or bi
enonymous 9
You don't have to be gay or bi to enjoy the occasional penis in the ass... but it does help
dolphincheddar 10
95. I am still open to your idea of obtaining a fallice
Beebow_fml 5
Many men enjoy pegging, or anal stimulation, during heterosexual intercourse. The prostate is just as, maybe more, sensitive as the head of the penis.
chickunkey 0
Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.
EffinToofer 3
With sound effects!
EnaBoC 5
I sense a new prono movie idea!
sourgirl101 29
Touché, Pussy Cat!
BigHoshJosh 0
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!
Emmy_The_Great 2
The technical term is penis fencing. I'm serious...
Cinn_fml 23
Maybe some clarification is needed... Did he mean that he's gay/bi, or was he joking, or does he want you to get into kinkier stuff in bed? Or what?
DEADTR00PER 0
He was probley joking lmao..
DEADTR00PER 0
He was probley joking lmao..
DEADTR00PER 0
He was probley joking lmao..
WallyTheWombat 0
I think it's more of a "you women are IMPOSSIBLE to figure out and are made of all sorts of crazy" thing. I dated a girl who smashed my windshield out of anger because I didn't get her anything for out __NO JOKE__ 1 year 3 month anniversary. Do couples even celebrate that? it's such an odd reason to celebrate.
whiterabbit420 4
she was probably on the rag
mfmylifesrsly 30
lol 64 at first I just read 3 months so I was thinking good thing it hasn't been long so you can get out of the relationship but then I realized it was 1 year and 3 months..so who knows what all else you've had to deal with from her :/
shenaniganry 3
Maybe he was probably joking.
WallyTheWombat 0
Yea I wasn't joking, for some reason I seem to get involved with girls who came back for thirds when they were dishing out crazy.
gamerhead 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Break up with his gay ass
Mysanitywins 10
Fail. It's funny cause you have "head" in your na- I'm gonna stop now...
quade25 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
looks like someone needs a new boyfreaind
WolfKing501 0
you failed
kayvan 8
You too both need a new boyfriend.
chiddy_bang71 0
looks like someone needs a new English teacher
Carebear423 0
looks like my English teacher needs a new boyfriend. or just a boyfriend in general.
chimcharx3 15
OUCH lol
Ugi 27
How can this not mean that he is gay (or bi)?
goshpeople 4
Because it could be his way of implying that he wishes she had more of the characteristics that men typically have. Doesn't have to be taken literally.
F0xyTurtle 8
It's called a joke.
Ugi 27
Then you would say "if you were a guy" or something. The joke or implication would be exactly what you suggest - I wish you had a guy-like personality. If you refer to a penis specifically then you are surely implying something sexual. He is asking for a guy's body, not a guy's personality.
dirtherder 1
or he wishes she knew his penis as well as he knows it. if the case, terrible wording!
spoilt_ 15
You should definitely get one then. He's gay what a stupid thing to say.