Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
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Top comments
EllieB123 5
Wow, what a bitch! :/
mrahhhhh 21
Tell her "I don't mind, I'm ******* 2 other girls."
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Comments (411)
Theguy614 0
agreed^^
Sylverstone 2
Dump her. After a comment like that, she's way outta here.
anakaren_831 1
You're girlfriend is a smart cookie:) FYL, you can always get penis enhancers?:)
DarkHelmet 10
way to give OP false hope there
dfens 8
And you're some unlucky guy's dumbass ****.
Jasonf6 0
She's an idiot. She could take a fist up there and be just as tight as before come the next day.
DarkHelmet 10
you should f**k her in the ass and see what comment she has then
kingtz 6
Exactly. Stick it in her butt next time and see if she still thinks it's small. And don't warn her first.
aardvarkish 17
I don't get how some guys accomplish a sneak rear entry. Girls act like I'm crazy to even suggest such a possibility.
mbrooks5110 0
firstly she's stupid cause it doesn't wrk that way second I hope u dumped her for saying that!
The_Voytek_Bear 14
Despite all the "**** her while you can" advise, I personally wouldn't be able to sleep with such a girl any more. i'd just wish her happy stretching elsewere. There is no good sex life if there is bad atmosphere...
Calyx_fml 22
Tell her that you are the perfect size for anal. Then demonstrate.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Dump the *****.
Shadow_Phantom 26
(Whoops... it double posted)