Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
Jim9349 10
thats not very expensive.. you deserved it for being cheap..
twohot2touch 7
what u should be thinking is "I basically paid £250 to not have sex. A prostitute would have been much much cheaper lol
gorbagil 0
Wait a minute, isnt this like the situation the girl should be fml'in about?
loveyabb 0
"Today I tried to get my boyfriend to have sex with me on his new desk. Too bad he didn't put it together right and it broke. Now my ass hurts and my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me. FML"
lizziemcguireee 0
Amen to this.
moss_fml 2
I am a Chinese,this's the first time I visit a foreign website,so... By the way,I don't know what "you deserve it" means too...
Gman08 0
how much does she wiegh? lol ydi get a skinnyer girlfriend
Cupcake10 0
Unless she wanted to have sex with her(fat)self how the hell did she expect the BOTH of you to do it on any surface less sturdy than a bed, or floor, or couch, or countertop, or car backseat or...dammit, where's my boyfriend.
Mr_Tuff_Guy 0
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!!!!!!!!
gottalovepixar 0
FYL? More like F your girlfriend's life, how embarassing...
randomkid 0
you british and your silly name for money, pounds ha ha ha. : P oh and sorry about the computer