Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
manb91gb 15
Why was your laptop so close to where you were *******? Didn't you have the sense to move it, or were you streaming your achievements on Twitch?
RichardPencil 32
Is this the one who peed on you? You need a rubber sex room with drains in the floor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Is this the one who peed on you? You need a rubber sex room with drains in the floor.
manb91gb 15
Why was your laptop so close to where you were *******? Didn't you have the sense to move it, or were you streaming your achievements on Twitch?
Inkoseh 33
Don't **** with homework bud.
silvermoon5033 26
Warranty?
J15237 25
Very confused by this? Whats going on with the laptop? Even if she broke the laptop enjoy the incredible sex my friend.
Nimesh Priyodit 11
“Laptop and girlfriend don’t go together.” — Sun Tzu, The Art of War “Laptop or girlfriend, pick one” — Lao Tzu, Life and Taoism