Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
hahasuckstobeyou 0
Lmawhalerider ftw
zhennan 0
the computer desk wasn't designed for sex activity, maybe you should buy a special one, haha.
Lolitia 4
200 plus pounds for a desk that broke that easy? Bull.
Kervik 0
This FML nearly made me cry . . . It is the saddest of the saddest. Where will your computer go now?! :'(
baller789 0
Tell ur object, sorry "woman" I beleive now is the proper term, to lose 500 pounds and cut down to 250 or make u a sandwich
Kat_MS 0
Gosh wtf is up with all the people saying his girlfriend was fat :S. Sure she's probably not that smart for -jumping- onto the desk (I mean climbing would probably have been smarter :P) but way to jump to conclusions about weight.
baller789 0
All women are fat because they try and nibble on the sanwiches they make for their owners. Know your place hoes, know your place. And that's the kitchen if your parets were smart and didn't put you through school. Make me a sandwich hoe
Emma_91 0
fail troll is, once again, fail
dudemitch 0
YDI for having a fat girlfriend
DrConstantine 0
Her name wouldn't be "Willy" would it?
boone_fml 0
YDI for not having sex anyway. YDI for buying a new computer desk. Get a junked one for free and have all sorts of fun jumping on it.