Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
SookMauNoots 0
YDI for being UKian
wutwutandwut 3
It's British. @ OP shouldn't you worry about your PC rather than the desk?
mardybum_fml 0
hahahaha
DameGreyWulf 1
Good thing my desk is steel. .... Of course, it's also covered in a bunch of crap and a big ol' computer. And I've no boyfriend/girlfriend either.. But my desk is still better than yours.
Imawhalerider 0
where do you live haha jk
Grumpy Jack 27
What's the best thing in life ? Having tank-like desk or having a girl/boy friend to sleep with ?
Grumpy Jack 27
What's the best thing in life ? Having tank-like desk or having a girl/boy friend to sleep with ?
Emma_91 0
sex fail :P
Egotistical 0
Sex or computer desk? Seriously?????
cassiljiha 0
that's what i was thinking :P
bloodyhell9398 0
at least she was naked
ClumsyJason 3
shoulda turn all that madness into force during sex and make her cat red.
Illumi113 0
If she's heavy enough to crush your desk, I'm guessing she's one of those fatasses who delude themselves into thinking they're sexy. Those people irritate me. If you're fat, either admit it to yourself and live with it, or do something about it, but don't think that you're beautiful if you're not. This girl sounds like an idiot. Sex on a bed would be much better than sex on a desk anyway.
drybamboo 0
Sex on a desk is hot. Hotter than on a bed. I think it has to do with the positioning or something. It's probably just me though.
thattickles 0
Hey, there are some fat people that are really sexy and beautiful. You also sound like an idiot. A closed-minded idiot.
Emma_91 0
Way to have no sense of humor. In case you haven't noticed it, different people have different ideas about beauty. Her BF probably finds her sexy. And don't you think that maybe the fact that she jumped on the desk might cause it to break?
nooseandnail 0
fat equates with ugly? Your stupid, and your probably thin and UGLY.
Imawhalerider 0
sorry but im a little bit shallow and probably wouldnt date really fat people, however i would rather bang a girl that i am on more of a mental relationship with. Attractive=i wanna bang beautiful=i wanna relationship but will probably bang later on
snzizle 0
i love how u claim u don't wanna have sex with a fat girl..yet your username is "i'm a whale rider"
teach09 0
You're an idiot.... Big girls can be beautiful... =) It's called confidence (spelling?) and I have seen MANY skinny chicks that are effing UGLY!!! And I've got guys at work to back me up on that...
Imawhalerider 0
snzizile: I never said I wouldn't just don't go for one. + my name is an inside joke Beautiful usually doesn't = attractiveness
cassiljiha 0
you lie. you are a whale rider. you like to ride whales. don't your back on them now!!
Imawhalerider 0
you're right. GIVE ME MY CHUBBY BUNNIES!
DeadHead86 0
Sex on a desk is hot. Anything sexual on a desk or table is hot. Much better than a bed and something that is not so traditional.
emilyaddison1234 0
lmao! exactly !
jonny2x4 0
But was she hot?
i_is_a_tr00l 0
YDI FOR HAVING A SOFT PENIS.
moss_fml 2
Then you can have a new desk,it's not bad