Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Suspicious activity
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Horrendous website content
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Right place, wrong body
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Top comments
thehumanlyhuman 7
If your roommate doesn't fess up to her, you'll have some serious butt-whoopin' to do.
vipirius 18
If she freaks out about guys watching ****, she's going to be single for a looong time.
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Comments (84)
thehumanlyhuman 7
If your roommate doesn't fess up to her, you'll have some serious butt-whoopin' to do.
BubbleGrunge 18
I'm not saying the roommate was right, however maybe it was better this way. Slapping OP was absolutely no way to handle the situation. It's just ****; most people watch it, even girls. If she flips out over that, imagine what would happen if it was actually something serious.
EpicSquishii 21
Yeah, and besides she's his "new" girlfriend, hadn't even been over. Shit's not so serious that she has a right (not that she ever would) to tell him how to **********. And if she's willing to slap him over what he looks at when he's touching himself on his own time THIS early on, who knows what she's going to feel justified in doing if he ever actually does something dumb to set her off. She sounds whack. Dump her.
TyT63 12
or he could take his friends phone and send a **** link to his parents...that'll teach him
sarah6786 14
It really is just ****. You're a guy. It's normal. And slapping someone because of something like that, or for any reason, is not right. At least you two only just started dating. Not that big of a loss.
ohgeejosee 19
She has that big of a problem with ****? I would just laugh and tease my boyfriend for forgetting to close it... Ha
starile 20
Guys, guys, please. We seem to be missing the fact that clearly OP's **** was featuring his new girlfriend's mother. For shame, OP! You don't let your girlfriend find out you want to get to the mom by sleeping with her daughter! Sloppy work, OP.
mFUNdo21 17
it was clown ****, that's why she got upset
emmybabe987 10
I don't see why she would flip. a fair amount of guys and girls watch it. some couples even watch it together if they're more adventurous. she needs to calm down xl
speakersboom 19
I don't get why someone would freak out over that. I mean t would be embarrassing as all hell, but everybody's done it at least once-male or female. if it were me, I'd probably blush, say something like "you left your um, browser on..." and look away while he closed it. it's not taboo, it's just private. don't freak, ladies.
shaww 28
I think you need to get you ass kicking shoes on make him confess
shaww 28
and*
jerryj 27
10, I understand you want to "correct" someone, however putting an asterisk next to a conjunction isn't really a sentence. Maybe I should "correct" you? Ice cream and crocodile dicks.*
thehumanlyhuman 7
10 is the same person as 2...
Chanti_fml 26
#23, He was correcting himself. And although it wasn't a sentence, it made perfect sense to me
shaww 28
and its your, not you LOL Plus I'm usually the grammar nazi... not my day
jerryj 27
I know he was correcting himself. Just needed an excuse to say crocodile dicks. I have Tourette's.
nhbasskid13 23
43- You're an asshole. My best friend has Tourette's, and it's not a laughing matter, let alone something to use as an excuse for typing something that ridiculous. Last I checked, Tourette's has no effect on motor skills. Are you going to find some way to "correct" me? I didn't think so.
Alicestraza 33
#59 I don't mean to be a dick but do some people with Tourette's not experience involuntary tics that are caused by motor skills?
Parkour_rocks 20
#68 you replied to the wrong person. Or I missed something here.
nhbasskid13 23
Myself and another user were having an argument about Tourette's because he commented something really obscene and blamed it on Tourette's, in a really rude way. My best friend has severe Tourette's, so naturally, I called him out on it. that's what happened and the comments were deleted.
WhiteCrimson 23
She probably just found it offensive. Send her a text explaining what happened. I'm sure with enough motivation you could win her heart back. Oh and kick your roommates ass
Little4Bear 10
I hope she believes you OP, trust is valuable in a relationship :) Also, tell your roomate he's a dick. From all of us here at FML.
fatlemonjefferso 8
She had no business slapping him. Leave in disgust, yes. He's better off without her.
184886837272837 32
My girl is awesome! Once I was in her basement with her and she just gave me the weirdest look and said "wanna watch ****?"
limabeans101029 21
Thanks for sharing, Braggy Braggerson.
TJWEIS 9
now you know why a lot of people naturally don't trust others
TheDrifter 24
So, horse scat fetish just isn't her thing? I'm sure there is some way you can make it up to her.
Voij 16
And here I was thinking that only strange things turned people off, but horse scat? C'mon, they teach that stuff in sexual education, she shouldn't have been frightened by something so common. Now, if it was something like cactus-cat-bagle-pin, then her reaction would seem somewhat more reasonable, at least...
Philintheblankz 14
Menage-a-trois? If it happens, whatever you do dont make eye contact.
LowExpectations 30
Call me old fashioned, but I strongly believe in the one dick per fantasy rule.
Steve95401 49
Yet another example of why your computer should be locked when you're not using it.
Shmatterhorn 38
And make sure that your roommate does not access to your password. I hope that you can get back together with your date.
vipirius 18
If she freaks out about guys watching ****, she's going to be single for a looong time.
ninety 25
I'm tended to think it was more than just your average **** if she hauled off and slapped him.
SmokinGuns 13
Its not that rare to find decent guys that arent pathetic enough to watch people screw online.
your_ma 27
What's indecent and pathetic about watching ****...? I have to say if I was that girl I would have either laughed and teased him about it or if it was some sort of weird stuff involving poop and circus freaks I'd have guessed straight away that it was a prank. OP's girl seems a bit uptight or kind of a drama queen?
thatonetribute 31
It's gross. We don't want to see it.
saymynamess 19
Actually thats true for some ppl. I salute them.
mpsteve137 15
Well I could understand if it was like gay ****. Then I imagine she'd be quite confused.
Chanti_fml 26
Time to get a (new) password on your computer then!