Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
People actually expect breakup sex? Really? She's dumping you, and you actually expected her to still have sex with you? Am I missing something here?
Skroal_stomper 5
at least she cleaned your room.
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Comments (39)
Skroal_stomper 5
at least she cleaned your room.
my_user_name 7
Bingo! She could have just dumped you and left. Now you have a clean room! Better than nothing.
Bosia 0
Break-up sex? Last time I broke up with a girlfriend, I got a broken nose, not a broken hymen. Kidding! ...Okay, not really.
zaadam2 5
#1 - What state do you live in? Because if people have breakup sex when they break things off with one another then I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo there. In all seriousness though, I honestly hope you weren't expecting anything after getting broken up with. Hell the best I got after a girl broke up with me was a kiss on the cheek and that was all. #2 - After a comment like that, thats rough to live with. But I really REALLY doubt though the sex was the main reason why she broke up with you. It was probably one of the reasons, but not the whole story. But other than that, it takes experience and just time to get your sex life going.
conversesk8er 0
lmao.
LoLlersnakes 0
Awesome. I would have told her to make me a sandwich and then asked her for her best friend's phone number.
docman_fml 9
I like your style
Doortje 30
Wow, you must REALLY suck in bed. I hate cleaning.
generalasskicker 12
dammit my comments won't show she added that comment to try to hurt him on her way out the door it was an unnecesary show for something that was ending but hey find somebody that's not a bitch she waited till it was over meaning one of 2 things it is either not true or she said it out of spite meaning she is either a bitch for lying to Hurt you or a bitch for being spiteful it's over this is all of course working under the assumption you did not wrong her for exp cheating on her with her mother or sister or just cheating but assuming that's not the case yeah she's a bitch
a_girl_i_know 0
Wow 22, ever heard of periods and commas?
boopityboppity 11
22 doesn't like them because they remind him of his missing marbles.
dudeitsdanny 10
People actually expect breakup sex? Really? She's dumping you, and you actually expected her to still have sex with you? Am I missing something here?
Doortje 30
Breakup sex is not a myth, it's real.
bludragon486 0
And it's awesome. It's like a hooker without having to pay!
pinkdottedbow 0
I agree with 6.
mouxouxou 11
So this is a kind of recipe?After a break up comes sex,or in that case cleaning the room (...) after the sex comes another girlfriend who doesn't look like a hooker until you break up with her (...#9) and then what?? Charity????....
i_love_jb 0
agree with 6. like seriously ? but op, that sucks.
vince1612_fml 0
i also ses no logic in the concept. When I break up with someone the last thing I want is to sleep with the other. I can see how the one getting dumped would want to but seriously.. It can't be made sound like a normal expectable thing.
MorganMuffin25 0
i agree with 6.
GTmustang07 0
breakup sex is real and sweet but not as sweet as makeup sex..that's one mans opinion though
boopityboppity 11
32, let's hope it's *only* one man's opinion, shall we?
kickboxingchick 5
I agree with 6
mc1900 4
sounds like a win win situation to me. maybe send me her number.
perdix 31
You came out ahead on that deal -- these days a good maid costs more than a cheap *****. And as long as you pay them, the cheap ****** won't criticize your awful sexual performance, in fact, they prefer it -- it helps them improve turnover ;)
derek8888 0
dude that's messed up. I don't understand why she didn't just leave...
HSOMGF 5
You are not entitled to sex. Be glad she cleaned your room and get over it.
Ninjafriends 1
Would you rather be bad in bed with a dirty room, or bad in bed with a clean room?
stronghand0331 17
Oh the options!
Ninjafriends 1
Yes, his choices suck. But at least he can ********** in a tidy environment.
unidentified_sta 5
I can't handle such choice, someone choose for me.
HomeAl0ne 20
Can I have a clean girl who's dirty in bed?