Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
Chubtubdaplaya 0
Either your gf is gargantuan, or you bought a terrible desk. Either way, YDI
Fett 0
either your girl is a hefer or you paid too much for a piece of crap desk. Which ever one it's your fault... Stop being cheap or get better taste in women
g33ktr0n 0
Sorry but my computer means more to me than some douche wanting sex. Computers can help me make $$. $$$ >>>>> sex
etgins 0
if thats what she did, she didnt have good intentions, she had dirty intentions.... :P and was trying to have sex with you by jumping on the desk naked... i like ur girlfriend's thinking. and please, please check and make sure to inform your girlfriend there is nothing wrong with the bed. unless there is. then u need to get urself a good bed.
Swirvia 0
ok, i put u deserved it because if she's honestly tht fat, i wouldnt respect a man w/ tht kind of tastes... thts just sad on ur part dude... now a computer would b a dif story, jumping on the desk it could get knocked over, but to break the desk itself?
Emma_91 0
fat does not equal ugly. Some fat girls can be really hot, while I've seen butt-ugly skinny girls. So by your logic she is gorgeous? http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wfRu_fV74yg/RxU5LvPL2eI/AAAAAAAAAzg/nMup_NsYh50/s400/ugly+girl.jpg And if you read some f the comments, just jumping on a desk with your full weight can be enough to break it, since the force generated is much more than your regular weight.
thecoldhardtruth 0
YDI for dating a cow
Lillith_fml 5
sorry love, this is what u get when u date a girl from York ;)
Armin_fml 0
love your nick :)
kukopia 0
Ya got a computer... Ya got a computer desk... Ya got a gf... Ya gf can jump up on a desk... Ya gf gets naked around you.. Ya gf wants sex with you.. Where is the FML???????? Niether a FML nor a YDI Where's the 'meh' button again?? I can't find the 'meh' button!! FML NEEDS a 'MEH' BUTTON!!!!!
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
What the hell do you mean you didn't even have sex? I mean, seriously, sucks about your computer, but, if anything, you would've at least got some sex outta it.