Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
ninja578 0
that is kinda hot OP, just tell her to be careful when she jumps on you. 250 pound desk is worth less then a new penis
chipmunk95 0
didnt know you were into chubby chicks
HahaYDI 0
Yo soy numero cuatro
redoleander 0
Sounds like a pretty crappy desk for £250, maybe buy a sturdier one next time
Jmido 0
It broke the desk but not the computer?
Imawhalerider 0
AAAndd superman that DESK!
Jonasgl 0
Oh no, your girlfriend broke something when she tried to **** you. Really, your life destroyed..
RoguePenguin 0
Guess what, guys? Jonasgl won't care if you break $500 worth of his stuff as long as you're "trying to have sex with him" when you do it.
trenton95 4
lol rogue penguin that's funny
brainiac94 0
£250? pretty cheap for a computer
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Might be because it was just the desk. Username fail.
iseefmls 0
computer desk dumbass.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
no sex? FYL 4real
sonasonic 34
£250 desk for a 250 pound girl.
tomilalala 0
Oh dear.
sn1992 0
you totally deserve it, man. seriously.
thatwasobvious 0
Agreed. Goddamn OP.
Dmaster22 0
Agreed. YDI 0P
unused_account 0
Why is it a YDI? What could he have done to stop it? I mean... her.
MadVlrus 1
It's not rly YDI.... he couldn't have done anything to prevent it.
wingedspiritus 0
What the hell? I doubt something like that would have broken it beyond repair... I mean, it is a desktop after all. FYL But I believe there's hope. Oyes #4
alex_vik 1
What if it broke in the middle? That's certainly beyond repair.
kingston52 0
its a desk not a desktop
wingedspiritus 0
Oh I get it. You're right.
Protegas 0
#31, the top of a desk, is a desktop :P Just saying..
abasio 1
She could be a 25 stone heifer!
fleckney26 25
#171, although true, when people say desktop, they mean a desktop computer
doodlebug93 0
hahahhaa that's one way to kill the mood.
TheLetterZero 7
Now that was just plain stupid.
skyle_fml 0
You know what else is stupid? The number of commas in the first two lines of this FML is stupid.
lottofee 0
if i wouldn't know it better i would believe that the op is from germany, because we have so much comma rules in germany = ) but i read that he's from the uk, so i'm wondering if it's the correct way to place the commas? could someone answer this?
Woop_Woop 0
the first sentence is right but the second doesn't need any commas
machete_fml 0
i hate comma abusers
drybamboo 0
You got ripped off if a £250 computer desk broke because of that. Unless it's made of glass...in which case, your girlfriend is dumb.
miyon_fml 0
A decent desk at Office Depot or Walmart can cost around 170-200$ And those are the build it yourself kind. And trust me, they can break easy. The last one I had was about $200, big wrap around a corner type. While putting it together I had it standing on the supports while screwing an a peice, the whole thing leaned to the left and Crash, both edge supports cracked in half. There wasnt even anything on it. So yeah FYL for the desk breaking. But also, YDI for complaining about your desk when you have a gf that wants to have sex.
drybamboo 0
£250 is around $400. I would think a 400 dollar computer desk would be made of real wood or fancy glass.
My_Little_Pony 0
I doubt they have a Office depot or Walmart in Europe....
wbrycem 0
Haha my little pony, you sure are something.
Person1233 13
Yup, because everyone knows everything outside the US is an untamed wild filled with absolutely no technology, and aliens. /sarcasm *glares at own kind for being a dumbass and making the rest of us look bad*
Draq 1
For $400, it better be able to support more than an average woman's weight. Every desk I've bought has been able to hold well over 300 lbs. Hell i've had $20 card tables sturdier than that.
Emma_91 0
They don't have Office Depot or Walmart here. My little pony was right. And shit is a lot more expensive in Europe than in the US. And it's usually shittier.
Deviant_fml 5
YDI man... stop dating fat chicks =P
Darksect0r13 0
O_o
Person1233 13
Fat people need love too. Hot dogs go bad.
nooseandnail 0
You deserve it, should have purchased a better desk.
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
Fuzzybunny111993 0
hahahahah!!!
mhmmhmgood 0
hahahahahaha!
dudeitsdanny 10
WIN! =) This made me laugh so hard..
ravensierra 0
Best comment EVER :)
mardybum_fml 0
ha ha ha ha ha
breenntt 0
LMAO. YOUR A LEGEND. BEST COMMENT EVER!!!
Yastafari 16
Oh...snap!