Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
marinja 0
apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...
xiambam 4
Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol
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Comments (131)
lifesabeach1213 7
That's whatcha get for datin' a cow.
moss_fml 2
你活该这么好玩吗，为什么好多人说
Cloverfx 0
She must bs HUGEEEEE
GossipGirl_xoxo_fml 0
It's probably the last time you will have ever seen seen someone naked. In less you get lucky of course, which I'm doubting. Until then, Xoxo - Gossip Girl
metalcrash 0
America isn't a nation idiot, it's a continent. FAIL
metalcrash 0
America isn't a nation, it's a continent
Fuckers 0
get her to go on all fours and put your computer and monitor on her back. ashtray goes on her buttocks.
lilmen10 0
what crashed first? your dreams of not being a virgen anymore , or your tower?
HRaeH 0
You have 3 options: 1.) Man up: you should've just boned her on top of the broken desk to assert your dominance. 2.) Date a thinner woman. 3.) Date a smarter woman.
CFR 0
Assert his dominance eh? I laughed when I read that. What the **** does male dominance have to do with an adventurous girlfriend who wanted to have sex on a desk that unfortunately broke? Oh wait, I forgot, she should have been in the kitchen. *rolls eyes*
Emma_91 0
#203 Don't worry. #200 is just pissed cuz he can't get any girl. ^_^
Ludaman44 0
I woulda boned her to get rid of the computer desk stress....
xFazedFX 0
YDI for having a computer. Amish all the way... Oh wait.
Almightynikita 0
#78 Yes they are. I rejected one. Then she sent me a bunch of messages, rejected her. On the same number she starts posting stuff about being a secret lover and try guess who this is =/