Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
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Top comments
PoisonOrchid 21
Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.
Kalipczo 21
it makes me so mad when girls use their period as an excuse to go all out bitch mode -_- seriously,.you're ovary-acting.
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Comments (101)
katydid91 31
And this is why I warn my loved ones that I'm about to get my period. I just casually let those close to me know by saying something like: "Hey, Just to let you know I'm about to get my period, so please try not to take offense if I'm unusually crabby this week." So that no feelings are hurt and my loved ones don't think I'm psychotic!
Trinneko 12
That is honestly the best thing to do if you know you get crabby. I let my bf know when mine's about to hit because we have to make sure that I have pain meds and/or booze which is the only way for me to get through 24-72 hrs worth of cramps (been to a doc, too bad, so sad). Thankfully my bf's like op, so I often find an extra chocolate bar with the pain meds, and I'm not like the op's hopefully ex gf.
AFaye3964 17
Just give her something like Midol or Pamprin, and bring her something sweet. You'll be fine.
maex 18
Awh! That was a sweet offer but that was so rude of her to slap you!
greatfirstdate 18
That is absolutely horrible. There's no excuse for that. You need to leave her before you get seriously hurt.
killerdana 19
I disagree. I think he should speak up and tell her what a bitch she's being. A lot of girls would love to have a boyfriend that sweet
mesha20 19
You underestimated the power a period can give us. You're lucky you can still see outta that eye on that side of your face. Next time Toss it in and retreat.
AngryRabbit 2
Oh get over yourself.
radianceepica 9
At least they weren't falling pink stars.... Doubt anyone will get my reference, but for some reason, it was the first thing I thought of when reading this. I blame the Motrin PM (for a headache and sleep, not PMS) and that it was a show I just finished watching.
SMHsohard 22
So there IS someone else watching the train wreck that is "Under the Dome"!
radianceepica 9
To diverge from the main topic, yes, there is. It's a lot like Lost. It makes 0 sense and probably will end with them all dead, or in a coma, or psych ward, or something
Blaisey 22
Ugh, I hate when girls use their periods as an excuse to be vapid and bitchy. Just because you're feeling gross and moody doesn't mean you need go around slapping people. You sound like a great boyfriend OP, most guys are disgusted by anything involving PMS :)
more4me 27
Oh wow ! Can you just imagine what that girl is going to be like when she gets pregnant?!!! Seriously though , I feel for you OP. You have to find a way to stay out of range and ignore your GF when she turns into a werewolf. Best of luck to you !
skittyskatbrat 19
I just had a horrible thought of what it would be like if she raised a daughter to behave the same way...any husband she manages to trap better take up a traveling salesman position and/or go into hiding permanently. :( UGH. Yeah, time to ditch her, she's found out she can hit him w/no repercussions and so it's just going to go downhill unless he's DAMNED lucky.
skyline0392 8
Break up with the bitch. You can do better bro! No one should be disrespected like that by there girl.
cynical78 15
Reverse the situation and the man gets vilified and goes to jail. But is since its PMS it's okay....
squideth 18
65% of violence that men commit is against their significant others. Not only that, but I only counted like THREE people stupidly defending what this girl did. Literally everyone else is discussing how disgusting and abusive this is. Nice straw man tho.