Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML
Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
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Top comments
DoomJeff91 2
At least it didn't smell like chloroform. Then, you'd be in big trouble.
Ashora 0
Formaldehyde is a preservative. The OP likely meant that her date was using a dead snake preserved in formaldehyde as a necklace.
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Comments (50)
uxoriouswidow 0
I'm not sure I completely get this - are you saying he used formaldehyde to kill a snake to turn it into a necklace?
cjammer 0
Dead animals are soaked in formaldehyde to preserve them. She's assuming the smell came off the snake, which leads us to assume that the snake was dead. OP...that bites. Or doesn't it?
RyanKaufman 7
And by what proof do you have of this? "Oh em gee people don't preserve snakes to make as necklaces FAKE" Also OP it seems every single hookup you didn't come up with is shit and will always be shit. Just tell your friend(s) to **** their tongue with a drill. Good luck on not dating creepy snake guys.
crazytoaster 2
Are you kidding? Snake necklaces is one of the most ******* awesome things I've ever heard of. I am going to turn preserved animals into clothes.
reptileguy1296 0
I only buy snake skin products from companies that use roadkill snakes. It's not right to go out and hunt them down, but if they're dead anyway, why waste them?
Ashora 0
Formaldehyde is a preservative. The OP likely meant that her date was using a dead snake preserved in formaldehyde as a necklace.
ShyAnn29 15
And it sure does smell bad too!!
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
(makes a tear motion on his face with right hand) Anaconda...
MikeStern 1
He's a taxidermist, so what?
DoomJeff91 2
At least it didn't smell like chloroform. Then, you'd be in big trouble.
femmeixifatality 0
Oh man. As a snake owner, this makes me cringe.
FJT 0
yeah me too
machete_fml 0
YDI for living in Texas
Cupffin 0
LMAO
girlygirl666 0
I laughed at this.
omargosh 1
HAHA you'll probably get a pigs tail as a wedding ring.
k3n 0
how do u know what formaldehyde smells like?
cjammer 0
If you've ever dissected anything in any science class, you'd know. It's a smell that, while it doesn't necessarily haunt you for the rest of your days, it's very easily recognizable henceforth. And it can give you one hell of a headache.
ShyAnn29 15
I took a vet assisting class, and we dissected cats, to learn about the insides, anyways it IS a smell you will recognize if you were to smell it again.