Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
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Top comments
PoisonOrchid 21
Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.
Kalipczo 21
it makes me so mad when girls use their period as an excuse to go all out bitch mode -_- seriously,.you're ovary-acting.
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Comments (101)
eliasRrivera 12
I would just say, I'm just trying to be nice and walk away
Queenie2014 11
Dump her! She has no right to hit you. Ever!
alicat13 12
Go for karate lessons and learn to block.
CO_RRA 11
Time for a new girlfriend.
crimson_rebel 5
You should still get her the chocolate, it will cheer her up :)
skittyskatbrat 19
I hope to hell YOU ate the chocolate!
mrtennis 8
hahaha good one. but seriously, girls are scary when they are on their .....!
ZombieSazza 34
Wow, your girlfriend is a huge bitch. I know periods make most women angry and sore (I must be a lucky bastard not to suffer either) but that's absolutely no excuse to slap your partner...
shanebob 15
No good deed goes unpunished, OP.
ridl_14 3
I would never, ever hit my boyfriend! We gently play fight but that is domestic abuse, just because you're a guy does not make it okay! Hope you're alright, and tell her that shit is not acceptable. (I'm a woman and ardent feminist with many wonderful men in my life!)