Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me, then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cardin06 15
Period or not that is uncalled for. You need to leave. That will get real old and annoying in time. Find someone who can, although they are on their cycle, manage their emotions properly.
magnumpeyote66 6
Mate time for a break up that is uncalled for and a bad sign.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
cardin06 15
Period or not that is uncalled for. You need to leave. That will get real old and annoying in time. Find someone who can, although they are on their cycle, manage their emotions properly.
Yudith 28
Survival guide to a girlfriend's period: first, start a calendar of your girlfriend's cycle and keep it under lock and key. Second, periods are like fight club; you don't talk about them. Leave that to the experts (the girls). Third, always keep the following handy: two of your girlfriend's sanitary pads (one for her, one to know which ones to buy for her), two of your girlfriend's tampons (same), a bar of chocolate, a bottle of Tylenol or Advil, coupons for a pizza, a hot pad. You may ask your girlfriend what kind of chocolate or pizza she likes. This way, you will be like a boy scout, always ready, and ready to scout for a girlfriend who doesn't throw china at your head.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Survival guide to a girlfriend's period: If you need a survival guide you should leave. If you reward her with chocolate or pizza you're reinforcing her bad behaviour. Don't do this.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Yeah, maybe not so much. I am a veteran of quite a few toxic relationships and I have never had to keep a PMS support kit. Look, I am all for guys being a gentleman and sensitive to the girl's needs but if the guy has to walk on eggshells then there is a problem.
magnumpeyote66 6
Mate time for a break up that is uncalled for and a bad sign.
Ashamed_Sister 60
What if I, a young woman, told a similar story from my perspective? "Today, I asked my new boyfriend if he was feeling alright, since he was in a bad mood for the first time since we started dating because of problems he had with his boss. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered." Does anyone think this is funny if the genders were reversed?
ojosRojos 28
It’s not funny either way
Iamthebanzai22 21
Exactly.
mssileas 25
Uhhh, no. You don't actually have to put up with that. I do have bad period days too, but that means I'm just a grumpy lump on the couch who watches too much TV and is very thankful for every snack placed in my lap I don't have to move for. But it's not an excuse for violent, disrespectful behavior. It's one thing to say "I don't feel good and I just need a snooze day/ a movie marathon where I can just be snarky towards the characters/ a fast food orgy" but it's not a justification to completely fly off the handle like that.
BeefyQueefy 14
Periods make you a little grumpy and impatient, not physically abusive. GTFO
ojosRojos 28
If she’s doing that at the BEGINNING of the relationship, imagine what she’ll do later on?? This is supposed to be the honeymoon period. Get outta there.
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-girlfriend. That way, I could say, “Man, you dodged a cereal bowl there!”
A Frenchy in Eire 31
Yeah you need to leave. I get extremely painful period and I've never assaulted my partner over it. I may be moody but that doesn't go beyond that. Girls who use their period as an excuse to be abusive shouldn't be in a relationship.
Eivana 37
Leave her. That's not normal behavior.