Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
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Top comments
carrythebanner 3
Dudes should know by now never ask girls when they're on their periods
DocBastard 40
What kind of idiot asks that? Oh right, you do. NEVER ask that. Never.
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Comments (95)
PillowPetLovers 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Obviously right now!
P374RD3D 9
Don't move! There's a duck on your face!
zachherbert 10
Crap! I thought they flew back north!!
Pixxio_O 11
OP's reaction: are you bloody serious?!?
Discombobulated9 12
When I'm on my period I do get mood swings, but they're not uncontrollable and I don't think being on your period is a good excuse for ripping out someone's hairs whilst they're asleep. I know people are saying 'YDI for trying to find out when to avoid her', but I'd avoid her as well if she was doing something like that to me.
P374RD3D 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm guessing she's having it now.
nofearjenshere 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Females: We turn into psychopaths when the blood is flowing.
SaMmIMonster96 6
Except for those of us who are already psychopaths.... We become murderers
GoingCommando93 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Except in any 3rd world country where there is no PMS. The reason is that only Americans and some Europeans are grown up into this "stressful" environment. It's an American invention.
krad204 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#47 Yes, yes it is...
saksxalmo 20
#29- Not all women PMS, and for the ones who do, it usually happens before their periods (hence the P in PMS) and doesn't necessarily involve mood swings, so... nope.
mk58 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm guessing she's on her period?
Bball_boy15 3
Is that a question?
carrythebanner 3
Dudes should know by now never ask girls when they're on their periods
crazychick1269 7
Or if they gained weight that's the worst
Guren 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's nothing wrong with knowing. It helps avoid pointless arguments sometimes.
saksxalmo 20
#59- Or it helps you write off what people are saying because you can claim that they're just being irrational... That's not biased at all.
EduJav321 24
You NEVER ask a girl 3 things: Their age Their weight Their period schedule Chances are you'll get f'd up. OC was just asking for it
EduJav321 24
You NEVER ask a girl 3 things: Their age Their weight Their period schedule Chances are you'll get f'd up. OC was just asking for it
thatlegit 11
Listen to this guy !!
Bladian 5
You guys must have evil girlfriends. Mine outright tells me when it's that time.
joooeee 3
If op was asleep and didn't feel it, I see no problem here.
lylotrezor 20
5, I think he very much felt it.
joeyfingas187 0
I wud duct tape her twat nd rip it off
olpally 33
You sir, are an a**hole
joeyfingas187 0
Any female duct tape my leg wud def get her twat taped nd ripped off, eye for an eye nd as usual all the females do thumbs down wut a shocka
AmbrosiaWriter 17
This is what I read: Look at me being all tough on the internet pretending, acting cool and shit. Being a total ******** and acting like I don't care what anyone else says while hiding behind the safety of a computer monitor is totally a way to get people to respect my shit. I'm going to conveniently ignore the fact that any shit I spout on a web site I would never have the balls to say to someone's face, nor any of the actions I claim I would do without hesitation would I actually have the guts to do. Yeah look at me wagging my epeen all over the place because it's bigger than my real dick. Anyone who replies to me is going to get their shit ruined because I'm so totally swagger and witty and any insults I say will definitely ruin their self esteem because I AM THE SHIT. I AM THE SHIT - when no one knows who the **** I am and there are absolutely no consequences to the bullshit I spew.
DocBastard 40
What kind of idiot asks that? Oh right, you do. NEVER ask that. Never.
TheDrifter 24
Just check the bathrooms for feminine hygeine product wrappers. DO NOT under any circumstances mention them unless she requests that you purchase them, it won't end well. Once you know the start date just get a lunar calendar and a marker and make a schedule.
flockz 20
ya never ask that unless you want to be involved in a bloodbath.
nofearjenshere 12
Flockz - 0 confirmed out of 41 posted, Damn I'm sorry that your life sucks so much...
ragzilla 0
Never ask a girl about her period. Period.
iamyummylicious 14
You don't need to ask. There's an app for that.
laden_swallow09 35
There is!? What's it called??
skyttlz 32
iPeriod
your_ma 27
You brought that on yourself a bit.. I'd be irritated if someone was basically asking when to avoid me.. I'm impressed with her biding her time like that, it must have taken patience!
AmbrosiaWriter 17
So, because she's acting bitchy, it AUTOMATICALLY means that she is on, or near her period, and thus there is no reason why she's bitchy. She's just bitchy. Oh no, it couldn't be that she's upset about something, or stressed. Oh hell no, couldn't be that at all! I hate it when men (women do it too, but I've found to a much lesser extent) dismiss a woman being angry/upset/short-fused because "Oh they're obviously on their period." How about you TALK to your girlfriend and say, "Hey, you seem kinda stressed, is everything okay?" Instead of the accusing and dismissive, "Are you on your period?" How would you feel if you were really stressed out and someone looks at you and instead of trying to find out why you are upset, and then offering to help, they just dismiss you entirely because of something you can't control (and it might not even be the reason why you are stressed)?
RadioOctopus 16
YES!
supimnyancat 9
TL;DR
misfitmonroe 4
Exactly
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I admit I assumed that the girlfriend was upset (be it for something happening in her life or hormones from PMS) and that's why he asked when her period was showing up, because it just doesn't seem like a guy would randomly ask out of the blue in order to "be prepared". In any case, I still think it's a bit rude and insensitive to ask when your girlfriend's period is going to be coming around. It makes it sound like he wants to avoid her during that time (especially with how he worded the FML). I think he could've gone around it a better way, in a way that sounded like he wanted to be supportive of her during that time (to help ease the hell that PMS can be) and not like he wanted to have a bunker prepared for the vicious fallout.
Icejza_DaChilla 7
Are you on your period? Sorry, I couldn't help but ask.
fmlallthetyme 23
Tldr
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Nope. My PMS symptoms (thanks to the wonders of birth control) are that I get very mellow and just want to eat fruit, play video games, and read manga. I also know when that is going to be coming around thanks to the pills allowing me to keep easy track. Prior to medication though, my cramps would be so blindingly painful that I would be legit crying out in pain, and bedridden until they were gone thanks to vertigo, nausea, and the aforementioned painful cramps. I've just grown up where every time a woman becomes upset, or angry, or disagrees with someone else, the immediate response is "Oh you're on your period aren't you?" and to be dismissed because of that assumption. It's just one of my biggest pet peeves.
saksxalmo 20
#68-- Are you retarded?
Mearemoi 14
This x100 When I'm on my period I'm exactly the same - heck, I'm usually more stressed, or "bitchy" as most people call it, when I'm NOT on it. It's very insensitive to ask "Are you on your period?" to anyone. If they wanted you to know they would tell you, sheesh.
Sheepiebeepie 26
THIS YES PERFECT