Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Ehh, OP kind of guessed right. Plugged up I think of Constipation, Stuffed up I think of Sinuses. I personally don't think OP's GF used the correct general term.
Madison Gliosci 16
Okay I totally would’ve assumed the same thing
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Comments (14)
slym12312425 9
I feel bad for you OP, I really do. however, ydi for not asking for clarification first.
Karan1358 9
He didn't want to embarrass her by asking since she didn't clarify that her sinuses were plugged. Most people don't clarify stuff when it's about their private parts or the situation is embarrassing
slym12312425 9
it's his girlfriend, she is texting him, he could have asked if it was sinuses or otherwise.
Inkoseh 33
Ehh, OP kind of guessed right. Plugged up I think of Constipation, Stuffed up I think of Sinuses. I personally don't think OP's GF used the correct general term.
raven_of_azarath 35
Similarly, OP’s gf should have clarified. The idiom for constipation is “plugged up,” the idiom for sinus problems is “stopped up.”
Mungolikecandy 19
The usual term for troublesome sinuses in my neck of the woods is blocked. The only use of plugged up I have ever heard is constipation related.
mas12806 24
I think SHE deserved it for not giving clarification
fjvitt 14
No—not butt-plugged up!
Madison Gliosci 16
Okay I totally would’ve assumed the same thing
mekiswrite 21
Well, at least you have them for future need.
RichardPencil 32
What medicine do you take after a gang bang?
Lovebunny21 6
Plugged up means the nose is stuffed up. Backed up means you can't poop. It's not that hard to figure out.
ViviMage 40
Biiiiig difference between "all bound up" and "all plugged up!"
bullshtbrenda 2
IDK if u're for real or just joking but this is too good either way