Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
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Top comments
PoisonOrchid 21
Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.
Kalipczo 21
it makes me so mad when girls use their period as an excuse to go all out bitch mode -_- seriously,.you're ovary-acting.
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Comments (101)
Mysterious_one 26
if u wanted to do it.. u should have done it without asking.. js
paramor3 23
Someone needs to seriously tone it down a notch...and by someone... I mean your violent bitch gf! Stay sweet OP! P.s. - I'd escape now while you can...
Stuffaluffagus 25
Sounds like time for a new girlfriend
justsomerandguy 8
That, my friend, is domestic violence. You should call the police. There is no reason to hit a man.
slyde32 12
they'd probably laugh at him, if she called however, he'd be in deep shit
skittyskatbrat 19
Different country, different standards. In the US and most of Europe, hell yes call the police. In SA? Not sure if the laws there are similar but one thing is definite. You don't ******* hit somebody you love outside of self-defense. You sure as hell don't do it when they are actually being NICE to you. Ditching the bitch is a given, but filing a domestic violence report, if it is "acceptable" in that country, would be right on the to-do list as well!
greenx89girl 1
hahahahah sorry this is funny. We tend to get really sensitive when we get our period .
SMHsohard 22
Haven't you ever heard "For something to be truly funny, EVERYONE in the room should be laughing"? This is an example of Not. Funny. At. All.
gargoyle666 5
You're South African. Can't you just "mistake her for a burglar"?
Omniprism 15
Wtf? Rage much. I would have slapped her back, took back my offer and left or walked away. Tell her she needs to ******* walk away if she ever feels the need to do that again and maybe ******* communicate. I'm mad for you, can you tell?
kodaxX 8
You seem very sweet. I'm sure she'll appreciate your efforts after the fact OP. :)
skittyskatbrat 19
Hopefully after she sees him with a sweet gal that deserves a sweet guy, and totally happy. And even more hopefully, after the bitch pulls this crap on her next boyfriend and he returns the favor!
skittyskatbrat 19
Any woman who thinks that it's perfectly fine to hit you/slap you/kick you/punch you when it's not self-defense is a bitch who deserves a night in jail, not chocolate. There are plenty of normal women out there that would LOVE to have an appreciative and thoughtful boyfriend. Why stay with this abusive hag? Go find someone decent that deserves you.
ladydemoon 8
I hope you broke up with her... Never an excuse for domestic violence