Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
PMS
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo
Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
STFU
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Blockages
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Top comments
PoisonOrchid 21
Next time, just toss the chocolate and Midol at her and run.
Kalipczo 21
it makes me so mad when girls use their period as an excuse to go all out bitch mode -_- seriously,.you're ovary-acting.
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Comments (101)
ber4fun 23
Wow hopefully after you explain to her that you're serious, she'll calm down and actually show you the appreciation you deserve.
itsme82 18
What a bitch. I would never do something like that if my partner was kind enough to offer me that. My jaw just dropped open after reading this. Throw a ***** at her and tell her she's acting like she needs to get ******.
kkaamm 9
I WANT A BOYFRIEND LIKE YOU
starcaller17 16
Most of us boys are nice, always ditch the mean ones and you will find a good guy soon. PS I'm available but no one likes me, I'm sarcastic to the point it's called rude
Brandi_Faith 34
You should probably work on that 32. Lol.
justsomerandguy 8
#32: That is very interesting, I could've written this comment! Although, I'm not exactly "available". Stuff like the OP's story are part of the many reasons I decided to go MGTOW.
just1n12 18
All of the nice guys get turned down, like me! I'm very nice and would do what OP said he would do for his gf for mine every month but nope no girlfriend :(
Harpy20 24
THIIIIIIIIIIRST
Dumbledora 9
I used to think that the phrase "seeing stars" was an exaggeration. Then I got hit in the head with a piece of metal. She must have ******* whacked you if you saw stars.... Stay out of her way if you want to survive this week! Probably best to just leave her alone.
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Well it's the thought that counts
Pepn_Fresh 14
damned if you do, damned if you don't
23lf 16
Always have large amours of Midol and chocolate ready OP, and your GF's period on your calendar.
Mad_Or_Nah 13
You never know a exact date of your period..
cjwayy 22
I'm kinda crazy when I'm on my period, but I would never go as far as hitting my boyfriend :(
DogStew 20
It's time for a new girlfriend.
Brandi_Faith 34
He definitely has to have a long conversation with her either way. If this is something she keeps up every month and doesn't change (even after your talk), then it probably is time for you to break up. Imagine dealing with that every month for the next 30 years!
sashakotlik 14
You sound like one amazing boyfriend