Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML
Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML
Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Protest by pissing on her grass, if she asks why just say you're "emptying the water cannon".
littlecuntcats 6
Your mom sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
bieberfreak18 0
FIRST ! (here come the thumbs down)
Akalia_fml 7
I thumbed you down simply because of your name. -_-
SkoomaKi 28
Protest by pissing on her grass, if she asks why just say you're "emptying the water cannon".
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'd protest by standing buck-naked in front of the water spray. Get a shower and water the lawn at the same time.
wallandpiece 16
I feel sorry for all those Britons down south who aren't allowed to use water. Meanwhile, up north.. *cuts to a short clip of people messing around with a hosepipe*
RaggleFrock 13
Just 2 weeks ago we had the wettest drought ever. Get her a water butt for her next birthday, for times such as these.
I_lost_the_game 25
I found it ironic how it rain every day for three weeks after the hose pipe ban was raised.
Beckyxo 3
I work for the water company that you hve and she reeeally shouldnt use it, if the neighbours tell on her (and believe me the amount of people that call up to do would suprise you) she could get a £1000 fine! Just lettin you know :)
insanez58 11
well that sucks
SkoomaKi 28
Alright everyone listen up. If I see another comment on this site saying "that sucks, wow, your life sucks", I will personally assassinate that individual. If you can't come up with a half-decent comment that contributes to the FML or the community, it is completely and utterly useless. Rant over, goodnight.
gurly98 13
Really thanks for spreading the word
gurly98 13
11 I would thumbs u up a jillion times if I could
eeppiicc 8
11, that sucks that you hate that sucks comments. *grabs shotgun and sits at door* I'll be waiting.
redbluegreen 41
Sending an electric shock through their keyboard, proportional to their number of down-votes, would be much more satisfying.
reddudeover 2
17 - You are sadistic. What's your hourly rate and can you be over every other Saturday after ten?
XHerobrineX 4
I will supply, arms, ammo, and intel!! Seriously though, this is a good cause. The whole point of FML is to: a. Actually try to help the OPs or b. laugh as hard as humanly possible at the failures of others. Did you see make stupid comments on that list? Neither did I.
felixthemaster 6
k
llamafish 25
What about potassium, 72?
littlecuntcats 6
Your mom sounds like an idiot.
olpally 33
Op's mom is AN idiot! Lol, wow.
SliceOfCake 9
8 - when I read that comment, my mind uses unnecessary emphasis on the "an".
olpally 33
Good job 28, i don't want you thinking too hard...
MizzErikaHart 8
Actually since idiot starts with a vowel then you would use "an" instead of "a"
olpally 33
Oops... I ****** up... Dammit... FML :(
I_lost_the_game 25
Yeah you did. Apologise to 28.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Report her for watering the garden then take all the showers you want while she's in jail.
x_KL_x 7
Or... get arrested yourself! In jail you'll have access to a shower and I'm sure your fellow inmates will be easier to live with than your mum, just don't drop the soap.
DoWnW4RdsPiR4L 7
The only issue with that is that water violation is only like a 200 fine at worst.
stevenJB 25
Your moms stupid. Not showering is a health hazard. The lawn can always be regrown.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hank Hill is displeased.
shadowrobot 2
23- but bill might be
_ebbonyy 11
Your mum definitely has her priorities sorted..
marinus_fml 20
You live in the UK. I've heard it's always shitty and rainy weather there. Not too long now!
Opheliac73 8
First of all, a major water pipe broke near Surrey recently. It's still yet to be fixed so rain won't stop the hose pipe ban. Secondly, not the entire of England is constantly in 'shitty weather'. If you must know, it's actually been boiling for the last week.
marmlr339 14
I've been to the UK twice. It seemed to be constantly overcast and drizzly, except for a few days out of several weeks there. I like the weather here :-)
evilplatypus 39
Went to France and England last year; France rained the entire time we were there (no matter where we were; Calaigh (sp?), Amiens, Paris...I swear that damn cloud followed us) while London and Leeds were beautiful: warm and dry. It was gorgeous. Moral of the story: stereotypes are not always completely accurate.
doodlecloud 27
10 I wish that were true but it's major hot atm and when it does rain it's still not enough to sort out the water shortage. Though it would help if the council fixed like the 5 burst water pipes around my area...=_=
Llamacod 11
...its major hot automated teller machine...
doodlecloud 27
Hahaha, I've never read it that way before. (atm = at the moment in case you were genuinely confused)
weepingangel_fml 7
I would not want to live in your house at the moment.
redbluegreen 41
But you would later?
IIFenix 3
18- hey you never know could be a nice place to live if op's mom was not a basket case....
usnwife 18
Shower on the lawn?
kickuwithmyfist 1
EVERYBODY WINS!=D
missalkali 8
except the neighbors. they gotta watch someone, in fact probably a whole family of people, stand around naked in the sprinkler on their front lawn trying to get clean.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Make it a neighbourhood get-together party. Get to 'know your street dwellers'