Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
really?
United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
steve
Melbourne, Australia
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
....
Modesto, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Anonymous
Know your worth
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Anonymous
Napier, New Zealand
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
justmeagain
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML
Top comments
hussamhasi 22
They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense
MDoremis 38
Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?
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Comments (135)
ronenlior 21
Well tell her that your dog told you slap her
wordygirl 11
You need to consider yourself very fortunate. Her dog probably told her to go ahead and lick her butt clean to save money on toilet paper too.
ThePaperDragon 31
What an inconsiderate dog.
validatethis 12
Geez. That gives me a whole new perspective on the saying "mans best friend" Sorry OP.
Kelly1995_fml 8
Looks like a win to me bro!
TheBossBryson 11
I guess you could say that dogs aren't mans best friend
benlridder 10
That bitch crazy you're lucky you got out of that
nightfall8705 33
The crazy is strong with this one, young Skywalker. The dog actually did you a favor. You can do better.
purplepong 14
Schizophrenic? Maybe it's better you're not with her?!
messymessiah 11
I think she did you a favour there. Dodged a crazy bullet