Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
really?
United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
steve
Melbourne, Australia
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
....
Modesto, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Anonymous
Know your worth
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Anonymous
Napier, New Zealand
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
justmeagain
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML
Top comments
hussamhasi 22
They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense
MDoremis 38
Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?
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Comments (135)
FalloutScrolls 25
I've heard some bad breakup methods before, but never seen a breakup Dog Whisperer style.
daddysgirl243 21
her dog did you a favor
Darkness_Hate 29
The only dialogue possible would be : Should I dump him? Dog : "Barking once" Ok!
1dvs_bstd 41
Well, I'd say good riddance.. bitch's got issues.
False_Stupidity 42
The ex has issues too :)
Jord_Fox 14
A dog whisperer?
amb27 7
I don't know how you could react to that...
SkylineFTW97 25
Odd...that's the same excuse that David Berkowitz used. Makes sense, seeing as they'relate both crazy.
SkylineFTW97 25
Sorry about the spelling error. I'm doing this on my phone, and I don't know how to turn off the autocorrect.
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
I'm sad it took 22 comments until a son of Sam response
HWICUNow 10
88 - same. I must be getting old. the dog was barking but Berkowitz translated it into English. I can only translate English into dog, and I read it better than I can speak it.
mikeyb3 12
This kinda makes me think of the show "Wilfred"
dramaelf 37
Last time someone took advice from a dog they ended up becoming a serial killer. Just remember Son of Sam and consider yourself lucky!
Miss_Mandi 29
Just when I thought I'd seen every excuse. That bitch is crazy.