Afroman720
United States
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
really?
United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
steve
Melbourne, Australia
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
....
Modesto, United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Anonymous
Know your worth
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Anonymous
Napier, New Zealand
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
justmeagain
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML
Top comments
hussamhasi 22
They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense
MDoremis 38
Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?
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Comments (135)
madslurpee 8
wat
EcoAirWarrior 7
A large percentage of intimate relationships result in breakup so you may have simply saved yourself emotional pain in the long term as well as saving your partner from suffering as relationships between humans can breakup any time but a dog is reliant on its caretaker for its lifetime
injektilo 7
Maybe she needs a shrink
amccaul1976 8
I think she is schzophrentic. I would either run or try to get her to a doctor or both. serial killers have killed because dogs told them to when suffering from this illness. 'son of sam' comes to mind when you said that.
Dexter83_fml 17
That sucks OP wow your ex girlfriend can talk to animals ? perhaps she could of found out the more important things like....why do dogs lick their balls. OP she's cuckoo pants you dodged a bullet
SirEnigM0nk 22
Hey, don't knock it. Them bitches be crazy for sure and belong in the pound, but Cesar Milan talks to dogs and he's the man!
quarterbird 18
You dodged a bullet.
latenerd 11
Dodged a bullet, OP.
Bragi 12
That was just an excuse. I swear, kids today can't just break up.
blacklavender77 4
Dog is God spelled backwards!!! It all makes sense!!
rabid_otaku 29
I got dumped by a magic eight ball once.