Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML
Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
Holy shit, what a worthless turd of a human. Let the trash take itself out and don’t look back.
FluffythePink 23
A massive bullet has just been dodged. Although he dodged you rather than the other way around. Which is Novel to say the least... Not too far from now you're going to be very grateful that he didn't waste anymore of your time and have a wtf? Ex bf story for the pub.
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Comments (5)
TwoBytesCarley 27
Holy shit, what a worthless turd of a human. Let the trash take itself out and don’t look back.
FluffythePink 23
A massive bullet has just been dodged. Although he dodged you rather than the other way around. Which is Novel to say the least... Not too far from now you're going to be very grateful that he didn't waste anymore of your time and have a wtf? Ex bf story for the pub.
RichardPencil 32
You're lucky to be done with this one! I'm most offended at how overly-complicated and expensive his scheme was! What a waste! He could have given you "it's not you -- it's me" for free yet he chose this caper where he spent a lot of money and had witnesses. What a dumb ****!
L0life29 6
so you’re single now, huh?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well at least you got flowers out of it. Better than most people who get dumped.