Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
It's never too late to turn over a new leaf and try to be better.
Doom_Kitty 14
Not neccessarly. When people do things that they usually don't do then other people get suspicious. It's normal. She's maybe just not used to it. When my husband buys me flowers it would mean he'd forgotten that i don't like them^^
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Comments (3)
Anderling 33
It's never too late to turn over a new leaf and try to be better.
RichardPencil 32
C'mon, what did you do? We know it's a ritual for birthdays and anniversaries, but we also all know that killing flowers and putting them on life support for a few days is idiotic. So, let's have it -- how did you **** up?
Doom_Kitty 14
Not neccessarly. When people do things that they usually don't do then other people get suspicious. It's normal. She's maybe just not used to it. When my husband buys me flowers it would mean he'd forgotten that i don't like them^^
DirtySalamander 9
or he created that habit for his wife. meaning that he did things in the past and then give gifts later to apologize. but we don't know the full story.