Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
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Top comments
stormstarcj 12
Someone needs to step up in the romance department. Although, she probably bought them herself.
zeon492 13
Damn. What a asshole fyl.
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Comments (121)
chuka81 27
Well, maybe you are.
Enslaved 38
Reminds me, growing up, my mom used to play that Barbara Streisand song "You don't bring me flowers" all the time for my dad. Nowadays she demands Diamonds from him instead. Poor Neil! :P
jrock9093 18
I don't know what to say to this one your damned if you do your damned if you don't
kaitb1103 23
Well actually... If you don't buy her flowers any other day but valentines day you deserve it.... Come on- youre telling me you can't afford to buy her flowers more than once a year? BS. Heres a thought- Spend less on video games....
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
You're over-generalizing way too much.
RedPillSucks 33
unless #20 is OPs girlfriend, coming on FML to toss fuel to the flames.
alycion 39
I would much rather my hubby bring me home a new game then flowers. But in all honesty, time spent together is more important then anything that costs money, to me. He understood that early on and didn't have to waste money trying to impress.
kinky44 28
Videogames last a lot longer than flowers, and are sometimes preferable
Jemm_fml 29
I have no idea why she even accepts them. I'd be pissed at someone disrespecting my relationship like that. I so hate to derail this thread now.... but today is my birthday. Splendid Days!
Zaros_fml 24
NO BIRTHDAY FOR YOU
Rawr6591 21
happy birthday
rlTlk 13
Yours mine and half the planet.. Most common bday of the year.. No really look it up :/ Sept. is birthday mania month. Happy birthday tho :)
Jemm_fml 29
I don't even care how popular it is! Happy Birthday to everyone! , you foxy Christmas babies! *sexy dance*
alwaysunhappy 5
My b day sept too. So happy b day to all of us!!!
zandalee 20
Happy birthday guys!! Go out and be naughty! ;)
thewife5 19
I agree it's shitty to accept them and then bring them home to rub in your face... However, if you love her you need to step up your game and spend more QUALITY time with her... Kiss her for no reason... Hold her hand... Give her butterflies
jw90 18
Time to step up your game
Enslaved 38
Not that you need to prove yourself OP, but here's a suggestion what you can do; Instead of buying her flowers, buy a rose bush (if money's an issue, it can be a lot less expensive), tell her it's because your love for her grows everyday. Then ask her to prove her love in return and make sure that plant never dies. Can she do it? :P
RedPillSucks 33
ooooh ooohh Ima write that down.... Its... because... my... lerv... for... you... grows... errday...
demiabia96 8
In the words of Bruno Mars, "[You] should've bought her flowers.." Now, go hold her hand before she dances with that other man
ninety 25
Show her you love her more than once a year and maybe she won't be so "brainwashed." Even if she did buy them for herself, take it as a hint.