Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my girlfriend when she 'complimented' me by saying, "You’re cute, like a rat." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
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Top comments
SoCalKay 3
Atleast Rufus isn't exactly small haha
4evaYong21 1
Your life sucks.. Mainly because your penis looks like a naked mole rat. Hahaha
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Comments (115)
4evaYong21 1
Your life sucks.. Mainly because your penis looks like a naked mole rat. Hahaha
fabian21 0
Her ****** probably looks like Harry the Hairy Hog.
urdirtyolduncle 15
So, I guess if you're fapping, it would look like animal abuse?
Cazzybum 11
My boyfriends looks like one too, when it's small and flaccid. Twice the size when erect tho so it's ok to have a giggle about it. OP don't be so insecure about your package, it's not the be-all and end-all.
murlocholmes 5
Arnt naked mole rats known for "tunneling"? Don't mess with nature, I suppose...
s0m3guy2010 21
12- PETA has already tried to rescue Rufus on several occasions. Each time, Rufus would quickly burrow back into OP's jeans before they could salvage him.
poostool 5
Have Rufus tunnel into her ass before making her deep throat Rufus.
zombicidal 11
I'm surprised at the amount of people who know Kim possible on this post I expected a few "who's Rufus"
rainbowfndash 0
Why did he have a male chicken in his pants? Pols some one explain!
oSwag 0
42. Wtf.
Jovecove 13
Gerbils up the ass!
RedPillSucks 33
Rooster =/= Rufus Yes, I'm a Kim Possible fan.
jkmartinjk 16
WTF. This was my post you dick
teejessika 13
Pics or it didn't happen! :P
katt_is_here 24
So, does it look like a naked mole rat? I mean, she showed you a bunch of pictures after she said that, so you've gotta know if she was right or not. Inquiring minds want to know!
xexu13 3
rufus kinda looks like a penis so ur clear his teeth looks like **** drippin out
GVirdi 11
Wtf?
SoCalKay 3
Atleast Rufus isn't exactly small haha
mejiiaa 0
If she laughs at your penis , she's too young for you bro .
Beeftinkle 13
Would you rather have a bf with a smaller but normal dick, or a bf with a bigger ugly misshapen one?
crisspz 4
you should of said "all the better too nibble on your pussy with" lmfao!!!!!!
s0m3guy2010 21
At least she didn't say that it looked like an inch worm.
Omgitsaireyonna 6
Has that happened to you before?):
s0m3guy2010 21
Only when I lived in Antarctica. "I swear it's shrinkage!"
joeinthedark 18
Shrinkage is no laughing matter. It happens to even the biggest of us, leaving us looking 'average'.
nick347b 6
Slap her across the face with your mole rat.
ieatunicorn4fun 7
Win
ollie179 21
As you can see here, Rufus has a very shrivelled back, like your dick, and Rufus has a small tail, like your dick.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
His dick has a tail? I'd be curious to see what that looks like.
Enslaved 38
I'm thinking rounded head, pink and hairless. Not really bad traits if you ask me. Oh and the girls already mentioned size.(:
RedPillSucks 33
Erm... Rufus has giant front teeth, like your dick???? I think she now has reason to be concerned.
exleonhart 0
That's why you only ever go balls deep!
Enslaved 38
How is that "Possible". Awe.... Rufus is cute.(:
lowl1f3 5
I see what you did there...
GothicAngel95 16
How punny of you
DHoffmann 9
Tell her Rufus is excited and wants to make a home inside of her.
emo_chick4 0
Haha that's terrible. Lol
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Well that 20min you won't get back again :/
perdix 31
That sounds so boring that I would have gone from Rufus the Mighty Purple Naked Mole Rat With Throbbing Veins of Pleasure to Rufus the Sad Mushroom in a Lump of Soggy Oatmeal. I haven't heard about such a mood-killer since I was ******* this girl and, right in the middle of it, she starts trying to sell me Amway products.
noshatsherlockk 15
Legend.
oSwag 0
It's Peter Griffin y'all.