Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML
Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
Renesaga 8
Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95
BigBADBoY417 3
u would no baby dick... jk
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
If only Billy Mays could have been there... R.I.P. Billy Anyway Op, here's an idea, TURN IT OFF OR GTFO! that was easy. FTCB.
pcakewafflebacon 0
of course you need one. It will turn yo vag into a péñ0r
pwincessa23 1
lol WTF?? what would op use that for??? Op, go outside!! stop complaining about ur tv remote & get some phisical activity!!!
shaneac 0
Believe it or not, there are some buttons on the tv. If you press the buttons, they actually change the channel! Just like in the old times!
vivibeatles 1
shaneac....did you not read it? *i cant change the channel manually* i still think shecouldveturneditoff orwalked away..
spiderman2211 0
#48, some cable terminals don't have any buttons on them so you need the remote that came with it to control the terminal
snagglepaste 0
You've been watching the tv for an hour? think of all the sandwiches you could have made in that time!
EffinAhole 0
The sandwich jokes are really not funny. Op- pick up a book
RedPillSucks 33
^^ This.... Turn of the TV and read a book or go for a jog for goodness sakes....
SwiftCashew 0
Your options are: 1) Break the TV with a hammer. Problem solved.
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
Why?
klutzycleo 5
@ 96, finally, someone who has some sense! Uhm, why not just unplug the TV if you don't wanna watch it?
pianogrl 0
17, win. RIP Billy Mayes. He has the power of selling anything by yelling!
FreeCandyVan 0
yeah, the buttons work until they decide to stop workong...
simpleplan239999 1
I think the sandwich jokes are hilarious. andd I'm a girl :P
TheComputerGuy96 16
Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)
AppleCoFreak 0
This comment was posted exactly 1 year ago
AppleCoFreak 0
This comment was posted exactly 1 year ago
MrsDruidess 23
yeah, try turning the TV off! I am sure there are other things you could do. They use to make these things, their like a collection of words and stories, multi paged, bound together, I believe they were called books. . . it might just be a rumor but I believe in them.
thatguynamedsky 32
my tv doesn't have any buttons at all and its useless without the remote; I've had the same problems as op
GreekYogurt 26
You need to brush up on your reading. Before you insult other people, check your spelling.
nevada_girl 6
so...turn off the tv?
Bees_fml 0
Exactly. I say turn off the effing TV and go outside!
Poepiepiesie 3
Unplugging sounds life threatening indeed.
kofinater 3
I'm just wondering why she stayed there, she could of just gone on the computer and watch hulu or something, but no buttons is very very starnge
Bees_fml 0
Of?
0hSleeper 0
# 51 You must be from the South. That is a common grammatical mistake down here. :) Oh and penis pump lady......derp.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
lmaoo!!
breenarae25 0
rawrrrr
sublimefan 0
turn off the tv or get another remote?
killabee 0
I bet looking for the remote consisted of lifting your fat rolls and checking your bowl of cheetos. Get up and find the remote!!!
ArtOfDesire 7
Honestly, get a life. Take a walk, look around, and I'm sure you'll find something much more interesting than whatever's on TV.
Miss_Awesome_101 0
your funny #6
maggieisbatman 10
Well geez what's your issue?
bluefairy_fml 24
What sort of TV is that, without buttons?? Surely there has to be a way to turn it off, or you can simply unplug it. Unless you exagerrated for the FML's sake, you really deserved it.
garza559 0
lazy
CitrusGirl 0
So go do something besides watching tv!
hidingoutt7 0
I'm starting to think I need one lol
padlarf 14
power... button...