Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML
Today, at the gym I loaded way too much weight on the bench press. Halfway through my set, I got stuck with the bar on my chest, squealing like a squeezed rubber duck until a stranger rescued me. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. Feeling pumped, I grabbed what I thought was a light dumbbell. It wasn’t. I dropped it on my toe and screamed so loud that the gym bros around me stopped mid-workout to stare at me. FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
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Top comments
siickman 7
Wtf... Who squels like a pig when their arm cracks....
llamafish 25
See, she was right. You really are a pig.
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Comments (113)
melij99 5
Accept your life as a lazy pig from now on.
mmmcoopers 13
wait until the 'I Love Bacon' crew get a hold of this...
Devin91 20
You are a lazy pig at heart.
FruityLoooons 8
Oh, the irony.
Akharr01 5
OP your name says it all... Smh
Enslaved 38
Great! Now I'm picturing that scene from the movie "Deliverance"! :O
perdix 31
Oh, you beat me to it! I was going to ask if, after he was crippled, the other weightlifters told him he had a "purty mouth?"
Enslaved 38
I'm not a fan of seeing guys in tightie whities because of that movies. :P
perdix 31
I can understand that. But what about bending over? I'll bring my banjo, heh-heh-heh. . .
The_Hitdude 12
Did this remind anyone else of that South Park episode with Stephen Spielberg, George Lucas and Indiana Jones? Spielberg: I want you to squeal...can you squeal? Indiana: Weeee...weeee?WEEEEE!WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Spielberg: Squeal!! So effing funny! XD
GotBrains 0
I like the genetically perfect pig from family guy better ^^
astronobob 0
That was originally a reference to a movie named "Deliverance" ;)
CaptainSlow 2
This reminds me of a scene in The Simpsons movie when the pig imitates marge.
Random017 7
Doing weights once wouldn't have proven anything anyway. You should have cleaned the house instead.
HelpMeJeebus 5
^ reminded me more of cartman's doctor calling him a lil piggy XD
LeapOfFaith 8
Don't let that discourage you. Keep working out and you'll quickly turn that ham into muscle. Then all that salami will become abs. And then you can get naughty with your sausage.