Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Today, I said that I'm not okay with my body. I'm not extremely obese, just gained some pounds, but it bugs me. My wife told me to search opportunities instead of excuses, and go to the f*ing gym. I'm still recovering after a serious accident and surgery, and I can't walk yet. FML
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Top comments
aquaeyedsiren 0
dude, she's your wife... she doesn't give two shots about how many pushups you can do... esp with a bad shoulder. next time either try phenomenal sex or just do the Damn dishes
unicornsglitter 0
We Never win.
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Comments (120)
androiddestroya 7
oh.... man that's a low blow :| sorry OP
A100893 30
OP, you probably should have waited until your arm healed before you tried to 'impress' anybody.
jtthegr8 26
Maybe he was trying to show off that he can do these things while hurt
gojira666 7
98....99...1000...see honey???!!!
toooldforthis 19
Well did you get a low blow at least? Or was it a complete waste of time?
MagicallyFat 12
Dude you married her you don't have to impress her anymore
deviable 9
Push-ups only impress men. Push-up bras that is. I'm here all week.
22cute 17
Try impressing her with good judgment. Or good hygiene. Or good manners. Or even good gifts. That crap only impresses other men.
EmilyShmemily496 0
Your wife's a bitch!
unicornsglitter 0
We Never win.
thiscrazything 1
Maybe it would help if you stopped doing stupid things......
LivingProdigy 0
True story
melchibr_fml 0
I won once. A women told me that there was no way in hell that I could be any dumber. I proved that bitch wrong!
mason012 0
True dat
CryMoreFMLs 15
38 - I am intrigued. Tell me how you accomplished this feat! (No sarcasm, I really am curious).
xxCandyKissxx 1
Aw well, No offense but that was kinda stupid if your crippled :/
TuLegit 4
Give the guy a break,he is just trying to impress his woman. Many guys try their hardest to impress their wife/girlfriend, and all some girls do is bitch and put them down. This FML is a prime example
xxCandyKissxx 1
Yah I know, but he's got a messed up shoulder..it's just common sense
1ManBrigade 1
You'd understand if you were a guy
HannahWho 8
No one is saying don't try to impress your woman... but you guys have it all wrong. We don't want to see you doing push ups, we want to see you taking out the trash or cleaning up the living room. That's impressive.
CRC_101 31
I personally understand why, but that doesn't make it good for them if they've got a bad shoulder.
HSOMGF 5
Your wife needs to be upgraded.
yummy_richkid 3
Pfft, her husband needs to be upgraded.
msilikegrapes 8
I read this comment right when i was listening to the song "upgrade you"
j_cat187 20
Pimp your Bitch airs on MTV in the fall of 2012.
BTSfanatic 0
64- wtf...
louiseth 9
Into a cyberman?
aquaeyedsiren 0
dude, she's your wife... she doesn't give two shots about how many pushups you can do... esp with a bad shoulder. next time either try phenomenal sex or just do the Damn dishes
margie2194 12
Take the garbage out. Bitches love when you take the garbage out. It's like a turn on.
SoNotForYou 5
Fail.
bkina 0
Hahah that's right just do the damn dishes is quite macho trying to impress ur wife with pushups lmao.. Clean up the house without her asking that would impress her
jtthegr8 26
Don't try to impress your wife? Maybe learn to cook if you want to impress...
jtthegr8 26
Why did the period at the end go to a different comment...
jtthegr8 26
.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Y do u need to impress ur married.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Y do u need talk lik dis u go schol?
silvercamaro 22
So what? All the romance ends once you get back from the honeymoon? I hate when people think like that. "ok well she's mine now so I don't have to do jack shit now for my girl." Guys like that don't deserve the woman they're with.
louiseth 9
Woah, chill. I hate people too, don't worry.
Swiftly 0
Usually if an FML begins with "I tried" or I thought" it's a YDI
DocBastard 40
To all you kids asking or wondering why men need to impress their wives, it's the same reason they still put on makeup when we go out - just because you're in a committed relationship doesn't mean you get to give up and become a slob. That's called being "complacent", and it's a great way to poison a marriage.
buck33 14
Smartest person on FML.
flea_of_death 23
Well...I dunno about you, but my boyfriend doesn't have to do things to impress me...small little texts with a cute message make me quite happy...or maybe I'm just weird XD but I've always thought it's silly to try to impress someone with looks/physical characteristics...*is trying not to go on a long, tired tangent*
imepelepticsir 5
92, yea but you two aint married.