Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML
Today, at the gym I loaded way too much weight on the bench press. Halfway through my set, I got stuck with the bar on my chest, squealing like a squeezed rubber duck until a stranger rescued me. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. Feeling pumped, I grabbed what I thought was a light dumbbell. It wasn’t. I dropped it on my toe and screamed so loud that the gym bros around me stopped mid-workout to stare at me. FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
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Top comments
siickman 7
Wtf... Who squels like a pig when their arm cracks....
llamafish 25
See, she was right. You really are a pig.
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Comments (113)
DocBastard 40
Working out won't prove you're as strong as a bull. But you need to talk to her - don't be as quiet as a mouse about this. Honestly it sounds to me like you may need to get busy as a bee, and as quick as a fox find someone who isn't as stubborn as a mule.
lefty619 6
Hahahaha vasheen think it's time man up
DaKillaMafia 2
My first reaction would have been, "****!!!"
OfficeNinja 5
Well, at least you were not hearing banjos as you squealed like a pig. It can always be worse.
1JDub 6
Im confused, are you lazy or a cop?
mosquito19 14
did you get some vagisil for your ******?
Clamcreepy 7
Put the guns away before the cops show up
ravenxcorvinus 9
WEE!!!
kingsley_fml 8
This little piggy shoulda stayed home
meruu_2005 1
You should work out more lol