Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
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Top comments
Ligerie 0
aww I really love pugs. But not more than my husband. But I have a feeling you're in High school still.
Luckster 0
Probably a blessing in disguise....if you and your now ex got married...would you want that bitch for a mother-in-law?
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Comments (166)
Turnip_Girl 0
Pugs are the best breed of dog in the whole world, as well as the cutest, in a ridiculously-silly-looking sort of way. (Though I own one, so I might be completely biased.) So don't feel bad -- being as awesome as a pug is a big ask. If it's any consolation, you can probably win against a pug in a breathing competition. Maybe arrange one to try to win your girlfriend back?
Dcvictorious 0
Tbh, I think I'll stick to the loyal, friendly, protective dogs (Alsatian FTW) rather than the Tiny, annoying fashion statement, stuggling to breathe king of dog.
Cristaderzi 0
Well I thought Seans Lyric posting was fitting... Well done Sean
seanreddog 4
thank you. ;)
Byrnevictim 0
Definitely not the best breed of dog, they can't do shit. They can't run, protect, jump, barley swim. all they do is eat, choke on their food, and shit. They are also definitely not ugly.
Skittles_Rawr 8
My pug does all those things extremely well.
keitorin 0
HAHAH. YDI for saying pugs are ugly. pugs are win. you just got pwned by one. hah, loser ;D
mcguyver98 0
was she really worth it for that?
shakenbake93 0
You should drop kick that motha fucka.
mycleverusername 0
I felt sorry for you until you decided to bash an innocent pug. Not cool.
lili_volcano 0
hahaha this reminds me of a girl I knew in high school who gave up being a vegetarian because her mom promised her a leather coat
_THE_MASTER_ 0
guess you're uglier than the pug...