Christinemh329
United States
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Sarah
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
San Francisco, United States
Nice to know
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
whippingpost
Drunken lout
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Anonymous
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Drunk
United States
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
boss_daughter
United States
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
kbartlett86
Canada
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
meh
Dublin, United States
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Drunkactor
United States
Today, my boss fired me because of my drinking problem. The reason he thinks I have a drinking problem? I was in a play he saw, in which I played a drunk person. I've been completely sober my whole life. FML
patch91
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Squinty6
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Canada
History buff
Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML
Top comments
jezane 9
Ask for a raise - every hour
Insane_Tea 15
OP's Boss: "Hey! Who do you think wears the big boy pants around here?!" OP: "But sir, your not wearing any pants..."
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Comments (59)
robpressley93 8
whatever sounds like the perfect boss to me ask him if he wants to grab a drink later?
Just_STFU_Please 13
Who knows, maybe a drink after work will lead to an exponential raise??? It's worth a shot!
instnt1nfction 17
6- was that a pun? It was amazing
thiscrazything 1
Party with the boss = raise. Unless he is a mean drunk, then you are SOL.
Just_STFU_Please 13
22- I didn't intend it to be a pun to be honest. Haha. After I submitted it I just told myself that that comment was perfect.
nic7973 23
aa?
Danny0522 8
Maybe its just me but I don't understand what's so bad about this
jezane 9
Ask for a raise - every hour
Awnonymous 4
Don't be such a buzzkill.
danishbagel 3
Pshh... what could possibly go wrong... >_>
danishbagel 3
It's obvious your sarcasm detectors need a tune up. But it's hard as hell to detect that in only text.
jonriise18 3
Benabus - you're a frickin buzzkill!
hotPinklipstick 24
24- I wouldn't say you are famous on FML. When you have 4000+ comments like DocBastard or Perdix then you can claim your "title".
DocBastard 40
If I'm famous, where's my royalty check? Come on, FML!
TunechiXXL 0
25 - you mean these guys are famous (to you) just for posting on FML, that is hilarious. Then to top it off, if they each have posted over 4,000 comments, they are Ratards who have no lives...... Really.....
ThatGuyRory 9
Benabus - I have a secret list down in my evil lair which contains the names of FML commentors i hate. Guess what, bro. You're on it. Perhaps... famous for all the wrong reasons?
DocBastard 40
TunechiXXL - I'm a Ratard? *checks dictionary* Shit, I can't even find word anywhere. Please define it for me so I know what you're talking about. And as for no life, I'll have to ask my wife and children about my lack of a life and how I can go about getting one. I had no idea that posting comments on a website means that you don't have a life! Maybe you can help me get a life! Please advise me, oh guru.
ThatGuyRory 9
*Facepalm* Why do i even bother? Doc, being a 'Ratard' sounds pretty damn terrible. Fancy coming over to my cave for a while so we can analyse this new insult? Oh, cake will be served too?
Dracoboxer357 36
44- DocBastard, "ratard" is obvious: You come from vermin decent, being "Rat-arded." It's a noble title for someone infamous, not famous, here in the world of fml. ;)
DocBastard 40
I thought it might be a combination of "rat bastard" and "retard", but that guy doesn't seem clever enough to come up with that himself.
Calyx_fml 22
Benabus, I've been reading FML for almost a year and this is the first I've ever heard of you. You have like 180 comments. That's nothing. You sound like a self important twit that no one has ever heard of.
alexh15 13
Try extortion? :P
DooleyFTW 17
You should've had a word about that promotion he promised you!
jerseyboy732 16
ORRRRRRRRR you could have suggested beer pong wednesdays :D
TunechiXXL 0
No bounces!
MsMeiriona 2
You shouldn't have been talking to him, should have gone to his bosses.
GotBawlz 0
Your boss is a great role model
iloveweed69 7
Sounds like a great boss to me