PoorGal
New Orleans, United States
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pray for me
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML
busted
Edmonton, Canada
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
BrokeAndHungry
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Karma
Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.
Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML
moneymoneymoney
Tampa, United States
Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
Shamed
United Kingdom
Sneaky
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
ewww
United States
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Timmy
France
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.
beeferjay 34
maybe you need a sugar daddy??? and by sugar daddy I don't mean myself... I don't have money
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Comments (127)
Neff000 3
start selling drugs
tyler_the_asiann 16
Sounds like you got yourself in a shitty situation...
minorthreat13 2
Been there! Don't worry about it man. If you really need tp...get some from the tim hortons bathroom. I can also let you in on this advice: coffee filters work great if you are ever out of tp at home and might have some coffee filters that you aren't currently in need of
mld4657 28
That was stupid. I mean go to the bathroom and put some in pockets.. or do your finances better.
LoLoLibra1 14
Ha! I just did that on Friday!!! I'm in the same boat!! LOL ???
duskglow 12
Lol, sorry, OP. Good luck explaining that one! ?
WhackTheJackal 22
100 comments get.
SunTripper93 10
DIRE-rrhea sorry tho
BlackBoyFly 11
I have to ask- What kind of ply?
inz002 6
'I need some TP, TP for my cornholio!' Should have asked though.
Sora_McKain 36
No, it's "I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"