pray for me
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
PoorGal
New Orleans, United States
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
busted
Edmonton, Canada
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
BrokeAndHungry
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
fffemaleee
Waterford, United States
Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML
itscalledaphonecontractretards
United States
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
wiper
Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
Anonymous
It's a cult
Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML
Anonymous
Austria
Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML
Ineedjustice03
Singapore
Today, I had to dig into my savings to help my parents pay for their divorce. FML
Top comments
Adam Sherwin 3
wow... I have never commented on this app in all the years I've had this app. but I've been through your shoes before. but just wow. itll get better.
Yudith 28
When we give to the Church, that does include the maintenance of the pastor's house and the feeding and caring of the pastor himself. You didn't steal anything; this toilet paper was also there for you.
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Comments (15)
Adam Sherwin 3
wow... I have never commented on this app in all the years I've had this app. but I've been through your shoes before. but just wow. itll get better.
RichardPencil 32
Well, when you turn the other cheek, you do need to wipe it!
loopylaura88 17
can you confess to yourself? how many hail Mary's can you give yourself?
gmac91 7
As the pastor, I hope your wife was the one making the divorce happen... I also hope this is a joke and didn't actually steal from your own church. God's commandments do not change with the times.
Yudith 28
When we give to the Church, that does include the maintenance of the pastor's house and the feeding and caring of the pastor himself. You didn't steal anything; this toilet paper was also there for you.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
isn't it your church so therefore it's your toilet paper
BurnInDemonFire 39
Whoa there! Does "Thou shalt not steal" ring a bell? I suppose it's better to swipe some TP instead of taking the money from the collection plate. Wait! Don't get any ideas! You'll just have to adjust your budget until you're solvent, again.
Vern Ehlers 5
Isn't divorce a sin?
Isaac Shields 9
is your name pastor chezzarone carter if so then you deserve our 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mooglefox 24
Think of it like this: the toilet paper in the church is for everyone to use. How you use it is up to you