Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML
Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML
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Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
how dare you not live your life according to their expectations. selfish...
Thabb 0
They just want you to look guilty of something
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Comments (237)
justsayin27 0
first
BeastMode5 0
Lucky you.
socksonparade9 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
fail.... but your fam sucks :/
cudi504 4
i think you mean friends
GuitarFail123 9
agreed, parenting fail.
goshpeople 4
And besides the fact that OP may not want marriage and children, how is an intervention supposed to help him/her find a spouse and have babies?
FarSide 23
Statistically, married people are happier and enjoy longer lives.
IceeCreamm 7
It's not how they want it to be? You got good friends:)
A7X_LoVeee 10
More like your reading sucks.
MrFlintstone 5
so your friends want you to be happy what's the big deal?
Hockeyboy4280 18
29- Really? Because my traditional grandparents have been married for almost 60 years and they hate the sight of each other.
cudi504 4
29 married peoples lives arent really longer they just seem longer
keenjellybean 0
29 - said 'statistically' makes them live longer but hey it's different for everyone
KingGeorgeGal 12
They need to understand that it is your life and you don't have to have a wife and kids, atleast not right away.
icecreammintz 0
take off the hat, wangtsa
hellogoodbye1996 6
the word fail is being tragically overused.
abby_mariee5 5
88 wins!
Trololololololo_fml 7
So what you don't have a wife and kids? Maybe you're not ready to. Your friends have overlooked a crucial detail there.
CitrusGirl 0
Studies have shown that married people tend to live longer, but other studies show that couples- married or unmarried- that have a very passionate love will live shorter lives, because such love causes the same chemical releases as intense stress. The case is different for everyone, though. These are just patterns that have been observed. That doesn't make it impossible for there to be other things. 81, what you say about your grandparents is sad, but it doesn't mean that the studies are wrong.
notthechosen 6
There lives aren't really longer..... they just feel that way
Hidan_fml 0
I think he's like the 40 year old virgin just with a car.
QueenSaru 28
Actually, they did a survey and child-free people are happier than parents.
IDontKnow10101 14
imma have to say no on this, I'm sure after 2 years they are gonna plan each other's murder so they can grab the insurance money assuming they have insurance
IDontKnow10101 14
^ meant for #29
Jazze_fml 10
@68 maybe they should want OP to be happy acording to OP's own values and not their own. if my friends ever dared to tell me i needed a wife let alone god damned kids they would not be alowed near me untill they provided me with an apology for being such idiots.
wankerwillie 0
If his friends wanted him to be happy they would get his back about jamming their lifestyle choices down his throat.
waldoo37 8
second
Thabb 0
They just want you to look guilty of something
bigfoot89 4
stage an intervention for them
kyleinsane 0
****
CasualZombie 6
The amount of sense that makes is astounding.
The_Weirdo 10
Your reading skills must have missed 2nd grade.
adropofpeace 8
83... did I miss something? o.O
hahahahepicfail 0
83 it's his friends not wife learn how to read!!!! I thought they tought that in kindigarten
KingGeorgeGal 12
108: Learn to spell correctly if you are going to criticize somebody else. (:
Skankles 0
I'm sure nothing's wrong with 83. If you'd use a little brainpower instead of just attacking him, you'd realize that he accidentally commented on the wrong FML.
KingGeorgeGal 12
Ahh thanks 113, I just realized that but he sti deserves a thumb down for posting on the wrong FML.
KingGeorgeGal 12
*still
muchagente 5
"kindigarten" is a beautiful word!
iChel413 6
Wrong FML?
gamercanadian 11
so ur gay
akmufasa 1
OP's friends need some counseling.... randomly staging an intervention isn't what real friends do.
fadingfaith 4
I agree that something is wrong with them but friends that are real friends wouldn't do this because they simply wouldn't care about op.
akmufasa 1
Well the friends just probably had the wrong mindset.
skiier4life 1
In Soviet Russia, Intervention stage you!
skoock 0
but will it blend?
insects4u 0
insanity I think the same only the opposite of what u just said. and I think I know that eye from somewhere
NeverShoutDana 13
Family... It's a beautiful thing.
AnonymousOne234 3
friends*
NeverShoutDana 13
My bad.
flockz 20
are friends a beautiful thing too? or is your first comment now invalid? :D
gumbo1 8
both
CsDy1395 6
everything's a beautiful thing, and everyone is friends with everyone else.
instnt1nfction 17
*cough*hippy*cough*
CsDy1395 6
*cough*sarcasm*cough*
sourgirl101 29
At first I thought #8 was encouraging the OP to start a family because it's a beautiful thing. (: OP, if you're fine with being single then more power to you. Most single men I know bitch about not being able to find someone, if that's not your case then tell your friends to butt out.
sydneyaval 9
wtf is ur problem? y wud u put ur cell numbah and skype name on ur profile? hah wutevs StRaNgEr DaNgEr! lol jk. waiting for all the thumbs down ;)
KingGeorgeGal 12
212. Wtf is your problem, I am not even going to take the time to thumb your comment down.
k8izgr8_fml 0
how dare you not live your life according to their expectations. selfish...
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
WIN xD best comment yet
crazybuggy803 0
love this!
GreenChef 0
sounds like we have the same parents!!
tona01 16
maybe, but how has that anything to do with OP's friends staging an interventiom?
igoteffed 0
dumb ass.
cudi504 4
theyr jealous you got a good life just forget them
Mau5Trap 0
nice pic bro :]
amrik 11
in his description it says it isn't him and that he just wanted people on FML to see it
tayyters 4
lies lol no1 needs to see more obese white children ever haha
hellokat1 0
I do.
breuhh 0
Dibs on you. ;) Hottieee!
Ryan747 0
Dude you look like a tatol faggit to all demensions. I just want to punch you in your face for just acting like your cool and when your a fat loser who's friends are just other faggits like you self. Lose Some Weight!!!
Ryan747 0
lair that is u! you aren't black
sara_saturday 5
jealousy rears it's ugly head. tell them "peace out" and go on a care-free vacation
bubblybrooke 12
its*. It's would be it is, and is .:. incorrect.