Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.
Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML
Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
Sneaky
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.
beeferjay 34
maybe you need a sugar daddy??? and by sugar daddy I don't mean myself... I don't have money
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Comments (127)
anarchymaniac 22
Use a sock
Meechiepie 13
I always hate when people are like "well cut down on this and that, you don't need a phone, you don't need internet" there was once a time when I saw an article slamming poor people for HAVING REFRIGERATORS, it's easy to tell someone to cut things out but when it comes down to it, the person saying that will probably never have to do it, and if they were in the exact same dire straights probably never would. Cancelling internet, when we live in an age where everything is on the computer?? if OP is looking for new jobs, needing to keep in contact with friends or family via email etc? and "sell your TV" what if OP doesn't have a TV and they just have a laptop? nothing to sell then, because they sure as hell aren't going to get rid of their laptop/internet which could be their only source of entertainment. "hey poor people, why don't you just get rid of everything in your life that can take your mind away from being poor, and read soup labels and stare at the wall for fun?" is pretty much what I take away from anyone telling a poor person to sell all their belongings.
homtravel 10
Think the pursuit of happyness.
SlumMade 13
Y'all try living without toilet paper and come tell me OP still deserves it
Guard_Babe 19
I stole tp in college once at the library.
nyahz1 7
clearly all these people passing judgement or saying stupid thibgs like "cut out luxuries" are clueless. im sorry i know how it can be and i also know it gets better. i hope you didnt lose your job. keep your head up OP , its all temporary
beeesosweeet 5
You're not alone! I always steal TP from work too ll
the_real_dvd 21
You should've tried sneaking it out by hiding it up your ass
tehdarkness 21
Yup, I've done that. Never got caught tho!
protoskore 27
The right way to do it is 1-2 squares at a time