Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.
Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML
Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
Sneaky
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.
beeferjay 34
maybe you need a sugar daddy??? and by sugar daddy I don't mean myself... I don't have money
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Comments (127)
nakm74 10
that seems kind of shitty.
odamaliekh 26
You had the first comment, but went with that pun? Missed your shot!
worldclassrager 41
Go away #1 and think about what you did...
Internetflakes 13
i applaud you #1
oreoeater 21
I hope thats a slow applaud
cheeeksss 29
You must be new, 81.
Emmamazing 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. You shouldn't steal, no matter how bad your financial situation gets.
zanoty 17
Not gonna lie if I was starving to death I would not be above stealing
odamaliekh 26
I don't think that stealing a roll of toilet paper from work is that bad.. If you do it every day, sure. But once? No problem.
helptheorphans 17
I agree with u not sure why people are down voting #2... I only think you should steal if u are in a life or death situation
schreibergx93 19
1. You're 14. 2. If you're not financially supporting yourself right now to understand this you have absolutely no place to judge. 3. As a female, you should understand the absolute necessity of toilet paper.
cole66 14
the fact #23 and #2 have downvoted just shows how retarded people are on this app
The12thPaladin 8
If OP has a minimum wage job it's hard to make a living considering a lot of states give under $8 a hour.
scarlett3diaz 24
Even if minimum wage is higher in some states, it's only because the cost of living is higher.
wellhi 7
It's amazing how much your perception of good and bad will change with age. We've all been taught that stealing is bad, but depending on the situation, it's not close to the worse thing that can happen.
One_Way 43
If a person is in such a difficult situation, there are many other "absolute necessities" that they could hypothetically steal to help them survive. Food, water, clean clothing. OP stole toilet paper, and from her job, likely her only source of income. Yes, YDI.
weaponofchoice6 11
come back when you have no choice. Either you steal or starve. Also, you're 12, how would you know????
tayyymeds 16
Too be honest, toilet paper is a necessity. I've taken some from work before because I had none and my paycheck was already used for bills. I'm supporting more than just myself, so if I have to go below my typical moral standings to provide, don't doubt that I won't or that others won't either. You have to do what is needed to live some what content.
mwali02 32
I'm more curious as to how many rolls she stole. One, we can worth with. Trying to recreate your own pack of twelve? Problematic.
kayrenee528 3
You obviously have no idea what it is like to be so desperately broke that you feel like you have no other options. Good on you for putting down a desperate person just to raise your righteous self a little bit higher on that pedestal of yours. I wish everyone could be as lucky as you have been.
Chesterthecat05 7
I'm in the same boat but I wouldn't try to steal tp and at least not from my work
higgysaurus 18
Ok so being in the same boat, can you offer a solution to OPs problem instead of criticizing her choice?
wonandonly 11
If #3 could give OP a solution, then would #3 be in the same boat as OP in the first place?
604 11
Yeah. Steal it from a public washroom, not one at work! Gosh.
Chesterthecat05 7
I did not criticize her choice!! just saying don't steal from your job.
MegasaurusRex89 28
You just completely contradicted yourself in one sentence. Bravo
hernanjaimes_ 22
Maybe ask for more hours instead of trying to steal or find a second job? I'm not quite certain of your exact financial situation tho. Hope it gets better OP sorry to hear that.
GavinoFreedom 20
If you aren't already doing so, stop buying yourself luxuries and just buy the necessities. Because then you'll find you have more money to spend on food and other required items.
thatguynamedsky 32
don't downvote this guy my mother had us in well over 50 thousand dollars in debt and she STILL payed for on demand and other stupid things we didnt need, only after cutting much of it off did we finnaly get the still ongoing debt somewhat manageable
juicy_extasy 25
Maybe this is a good opportunity to ask for a raise
higgysaurus 18
Getting caught stealing is a good time to ask for a raise? I see what you are saying, a raise would help financially, but getting caught stealing is the wrong time.
juicy_extasy 25
Onviously stealing is wrong but maybe she/he can bullshit their way out of it and say they were driven to this somehow. It's an awful situation lol
XxDanno316xX 27
So get caught stealing, try to lie your way through it. Solid advice. Shame on you.
kozzard 17
actually it is a good time to ask, if you're so broke that you have to steal tp, you can earn some sympathy points with the boss, and might luck into a raise, or at least not getting fired or written up
mwali02 32
It may also depend on who caught her stealing. If your best friend at work catches you, you may have a free pass (and maybe they can even give you paper from their own home!) If it's your boss or the workplace tattle tale, different story... We need a follow up OP! :)
khorstmye 15
Just use it while you are at work. Nothing better than getting paid to poop!!!!
cutycat136 28
Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.
ColorOfSoul 19
Internet could go? GO? I am all for having a good spending habit but my network juice stays. lol
myGRAM 14
Thanks, Scotia Bank!
AmyPond17 33
I agree that tv isn't a necessity, but it may not be as easy as cutting it out completely right away. To get my cable plan, I had to sign on to a 2-yr contract and to cancel early I would have to pay an outrageous cancellation fee. What OP might have to do instead is cut down to the bare minimum amount of channels, which would cut down on the bill.
bobbybev95 17
Internet is practically a requirement in today's day and age, especially with working from home and being in contact with your boss and coworkers at home. Calling people is necessary today, but there are cheaper plan options. I wouldn't necessarily tell OP to go off the grid and not buy anything, but maybe make some cuts
sighlifeman 12
at least keep internet everything else yea
mikuxxhatsune 32
Or stop buying snacks and cut down to the basics breads, fresh fruit and vegetables and maybe some meat.
Catdragon 40
what if they're an online student and need internet for school?
rampatmonkey 7
Spoken by someone who has never truly experienced poverty. When you are that low it's not just a matter of "stop going to the movies" or "don't buy name brand items". It is real, and it is desperate, and you cannot understand how arrogant you sound. I'm sorry OP. I hope things get better for you
oy21vey 11
Written by someone who has obviously never lived in poverty.
oy21vey 11
jknl.m,
Callyn 47
Yes, because someone who works for a living should only be able to afford the bare necessities. If OP wanted luxuries like internet access or furniture, she should have been born rich. The working poor are obviously inferior to their financial betters.
johncage 14
I see comments like this and wonder if you have actually met a poor person. Not one who spends their entire paycheck on vodka and scratch-offs, but someone who was raised in an industrial town hearing "go to college so you don't end up in a factory like me" on a daily basis only to find after four years and a king's ransom in debt that even those factory jobs were gone. I spent months trying to hustle a steady job after college, and I settled for less than minimum wage because at that point I would have been happy scrubbing toilets or working at a call center like I resorted to right out of high school if it meant paying my own way. While working there I had a freezer that defrosted when it felt like it, no cable, no television, no dryer, a car that averaged one break-down a month, and debt collectors who were more reliable than my alarm clock and didn't relent until I went to sleep. The only luxury I had through that time was an occasional freezer-burnt piece of meat to go with my rice. I never stole toilet paper personally, but I sure as heck used it when my roommate did.
jvanevery 19
oops replied to wrong comment
Tripartita 45
People like you disgust me, OP. You probably tried to steal it while your workmates where happily celebrating their natural bodily functions.
Misswildsides 22
People like you disgust me. You're probably one of those people that look down with disgust on your face as you walk past a homeless person.
Tripartita 45
It was supposed to be a humorous reference to the FML about the parents who were told to "celebrate natural bodily functions" of their toddler.
christinamarie17 29
I think you got the reference in there but the humorous part didn't really work out for you.
Tripartita 45
I mean, I laughed for /hours/ after posting that. My mom even said it was sort of funny!
MrsDruidess 23
I got it and thought it was very funny, they probably just didn't know about the other post or have no idea what is funny.
AuTiAlloy 8
Maybe look for another or a second job if this one's pay is that bad. Also how ecpensive is toilet paper where you live?!?
AuTiAlloy 8
expensive*
scyth3s 13
Down votes for correcting your grammar? That's impressive.