Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML
Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.
Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML
Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML
Sneaky
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Top comments
cutycat136 28
Think what do I need. Not coffee every morning, Internet could go, do you really need television if you have financial problems? If you've got cell data, is it absolutely necessary to have? What about getting rid of those old clothes you never wear anymore and could have a yard sale for? Take out all the unnecessary items and you'll find you're richer than you think.
beeferjay 34
maybe you need a sugar daddy??? and by sugar daddy I don't mean myself... I don't have money
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Comments (127)
williamcarter93 13
Why is everyone saying OP should immediately sell their phone/laptop/car whatever? Do none of you not understand we are in the digital age? Do you know that for job hunting, actually performing job tasks, getting to work, etc, you actually need computers to keep in contact with employers and cars and maybe phones or pagers. This isn't 1900 where everything was on paper. and possessing these things is not necessarily expensive either, you can get phones with unlimited talking for 20 or 30 bucks a month and for all we know her computers are old as ****. Yes, people can have cars and electronic devices they absolutely need and still be ******* poor enough to steal toilet paper.
schreibergx93 19
Just read your comment, and it's in line with mine. As I said in mine I'm not saying she should steal, but the fact is we don't know her situation, and to say to sell 'useless things'-- those things may be a necessity for her. Thanks for your comment.
schreibergx93 19
It astounds me to see the comments here of 'you shouldn't steal'. Also to see advice coming from individuals who are not yet supporting themselves financially, and have googled a solution or read it somewhere. Not trying be prude, and I'm not saying the OP should steal. But, before making the judgment of telling her not to steal just take into consideration some of use work 2-4 jobs to make ends meet hardly purchasing luxuries. I myself work 2 jobs, and thankfully have enough to purchase the basic necessities now. But not everyone does. And even working more hours isn't always enough, either, to compensate for that. I've asked for more hours before-- the more you make the more taxes you pay. So, please don't make the judgments and believe you have the best advice. Give a solution rather than a common thing everyone else says. Because all of this becomes mundane saying the exact same thing the other commentor before you said.
Ichiya 29
My family had a hard time with money when I was growing up too. The best thing that happened to us was when the company my dad worked at went under. Yes lots of people lost jobs but soon after that my dad found a job making more than him and my mom made together at his old job.
schreibergx93 19
That's really awesome. Sometimes we need something terrible to happen for something extraordinary to happen.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Dollar store has toilet paper. I had to do that a few times when I was broke. Buy a few packs on payday.
williamcarter93 13
and as far as, get another job, that may not be feasible depending on what OP's hours already are. Not all employers will work with you to try to fit two jobs into a schedule, nor will they give you more hours just because you are willing to work. And OP is from Louisiana, and I'm from Mississippi, and in the US those are two of the states with some of the most stagnant economies and pay scales. So stop being so judgmental when you don't know why she had to do it
Ethan_Anonymous 28
At least you have a job. Seriously, your financial situation may suck, but let the little things make you happy. Good luck with everything op !
AstraelEventide 10
Oh man, I've been in the exact same position, and I got caught too lol. I really hope everything gets better for you OP.
juggalo2 22
Maybe use newspaper or junk mail and bury it in your trash?
kyrisonfusion 22
I know it sucks but try to save and cut some expenses out?
melanielovejeff 15
Try stealing toilet paper from the outhouse at a public park. Worked for my friend.
ThreeSheets 14
Why would you want to use that sandpaper?? The yellowpages are softer.