Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
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Top comments
slitherbomb 0
Don't take shame in your *****! Do it with pride, you're a man! At least I think you are....
13FTW 9
The best part of this FML is how he referenced his shit to be " a very loud and very smelly session"
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Comments (78)
BrianAlarcon 0
How does your Id fall out of your wallet?
Save_Bandit 5
Yeah, seriously, it would pretty much have to jump out. Unless he's a yoga master and leaned so far forward that it could fall out of his wallet and his pocket... Somehow...
jissie 6
Yeah seriously learn to read.
BrianAlarcon 0
5 who keeps their ID in their pocket?
13FTW 9
The best part of this FML is how he referenced his shit to be " a very loud and very smelly session"
Feedmyaddiction5 14
I do when I am just making a quick trip somewhere.
ItsTheKing 10
Shit, Alan is here. His stupidity senses must have tingled.
stro88 6
I say you should be proud of a job well done good sir. Now everyone who comes in will know whose marked the throne, you came in to deuce and came out nuking. Claim it like a champ.
_Oblivion_ 12
Im going to take a good guess and say that gravity had something to do with it
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Alan uses Obvious Logic! It's Super Effective! 1 and 3 fainted!
philitron128 0
Stop commenting everywhere, your face makes me angry >:|
X3liteXHunterX 12
Work ID duh.
XxHoPPoxX 8
queef
ShawnKTA 0
Nice 0 of 13 posted your life does suck dumbass, L2Read
indivisualsoul 0
sounds legit.
slitherbomb 0
Don't take shame in your *****! Do it with pride, you're a man! At least I think you are....
sxe_beast 11
There's a website called Rate My Poop, lol...
slitherbomb 0
This person would've won first prize!
Evan2297 0
Sittin on the toilet!!
minzzy 8
i went on it after seeing you comment... ugh imma bout to throw up...
IamDre 5
That must have been a Chuck Norris ID.
TaylorMcGown 2
Why would some random guy have chuck norris' ID? :/
rexgar2000 10
it's impossible you wouldn't be alive.
No_LoveMM 3
And just watched the south park episode about the worlds biggest crap past night
No_LoveMM 3
last*
anorexicbarbie 8
How many Couric's do you guys think OP's shit was?
No_LoveMM 3
Probably around 6 or 7, higher than that takes serious determination.
shanie123 10
So much for waiting huh?! I wonder why that's so embarrassing, like everyone doesn't do it. Fyl tho
kiakia0131 23
That is embarrassing, but it happens. You can't help when you have to go or how loud/vile it will be. It doesn't make matters better that someone knows it was you, but if they are mature enough they won't bring it up.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Fiber plus keep it regular =p
MyEpicDemise 7
The person's mature enough to return him his ID too. I don't see how this is an fml.
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
its emmbarassing to u cuz u hav no self confidence
Poopolicious 5
Hey maybe you"ll win the smelly shit award...
sleepindevil 15
Maybe they thought you were trying to pull a move on them....
conniebaby67 0
I moderated this!