Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
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Top comments
KatrinaKitten 16
You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
I like cupcakes.
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Comments (121)
Kayl_reb5 0
Well someone needs to lose some weight!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
I like cupcakes.
SMGnow 0
Richard Simmons
Agiggleaday 0
wow worlds greatest dad..
stephmariee17 0
I guess that's a wake up call?
racer337 2
WIDE LOAD
imacreeper 3
maybe OP's father meant that they are ugly, not fat. because you have to be pretty damn fat for your own father to make a joke like that.
denbeste 3
Dad WIN :D
lunaXXdennice 0
are you sure he's your dad? you should have responded 'do u think twice before you speak or just say that stuff ^^so it hurts people? either way you plainly suck' and walk away to your mom
bbucaro98 0
nuts
Tommananaze6T9 4
someone doesnt have a sense of humor
PurpleRae420 0
Your dads an asshole for that and that was an abusive sarcastic comment idc if it was "intended" to be funny because it wasn't
SwaggerMelon 6
Haha. It's funny because OP is fat.
ItWasAllWorthIt 0
58, very original advice. -_-
abcd4242 0
1-looks like you have no room to talk hahaha
LaughinStock 16
120 HA love that movie
chocolatechocha 8
wow must be hella young!
Rock_The_Shindig 0
ur right it is sad
ramseyrutherford 2
well Someones nice7:-l?
Droopy13 0
That was soo mean! Especially coming from your own dad! Anybody who think this is funny is a total a**hole!
ihasbrains 10
Remember, everybody. OP could just be black and white.
PeteyPablo12308 20
At #one: Are you a girl or a boy? I can't tell...
lalala2012 2
well.. in her bio it says I like cheerleading and boys, so I'm gonna go with she's a girl
slantyshanty 7
maybe OP is black and white.
IsntThisAwkward 0
if he said it sarcastically then shes too skinny. if he said it jokingly then shes fat.
Abbycadabbie1637 4
Really???wow lose!
craZgal321 6
in the fml he said SARCASTICLY. yall r idiots
craZgal321 6
sarcastically i mean
Angi95 3
If I were you I would be like dad don't get lost they might mistake you for an asshole, and not help you.
Bano360 25
People need to get a sense of humour on here.
StarMelody009 0
Shut up
blacktower 13
I know really LOL YDI and FYL
22Marie22 0
Oh wow.
whiteboy7thst 2
Wow Is an understatement...
CO_Dorvanski 5
You completely deserve it for even going to Seaworld... What I don't understand is how anyone could support such a cruel and inhumane corporation.
adamcole20 0
shamu is awesome !!!!!
ifinsane 6
Tell him theyll mistake him for moby dick
Pufferfish78 5
Wow, that was mean!
fluffyrocka 0
Hhahah, you're dad was implying that you are a mammal that rhymes with shampoo, haha, shampoo is for heads, silly dad
holymolybro 0
Not his fault that his daughter is a beached whale.
miraggg 1
thats an insult to shamu
JustinThunder 8
Maybe you should stop wearing blue shirts.
Darth_Naru 0
Shamu isn't blue. Orcas are black and white.
sarah_cheverie 0
Fail.
JustinThunder 8
Oh well, people make mistakes. Thanks for the information.
lindsaylu98 0
shamus black and white...
puertoricanmafia 0
u suck at colors! lol
truthinlies 1
lol super derp
bodmonontheblock 0
lebron sucks
JustinThunder 8
123- I'd rather suck at colours than be illiterate.
baby_dee97 8
144 no Kobe sucks thats why lebron is still in the playoffs!!!!!!!!
W0 0
A little exaggeration cant hurt...
KatrinaKitten 16
You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!
footballtracksta 0
I agree. And,your hot.
DeLpHe3zY 7
Thats real mature.
lunaXXdennice 0
^ it may not be mature but it'd be pretty funny and it'd also teach him a lesson
Heather_x0x0 6
because telling your kid that you might get mistaken for Shamu is real mature...
helloello 2
meow, what seems to be the problem here?
badgirl90987 9
ah yes, kill your father because he called you fat. nice solution.. I wouldn't drown him but I'd sure be pissed off. I'd shove food in his face.
sarah_cheverie 0
I like Shamu. ;D
layz_fml 0
me too, shamu is epic :D but maybe OP Should diet.
Grimmerie 31
shaaaaamu swimming through the ocean blue crashed into a steel canoe now shamu's gonna sue.
maidofawesome 0
Sucks for you
thtguy123 0
Hahaha....wats a shamu.........-_-
TrollsFTW 0
Herp
maby171 0
a biiiig whale!
TrollsFTW 0
You should be happy. Whales are quite elegant.
thatfrenchguy 8
yeah apparently it's mandatory for whales to take etiquette class.
TrollsFTW 0
Herp