Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
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Top comments
KatrinaKitten 16
You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
I like cupcakes.
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Comments (121)
Darcon 8
dayym! Op is some ugly mo'fu@#er!
Crazy4Christ 0
that was mean!
lmaoatall 6
sew r ooo
instnt1nfction 17
please learn to spell
WordSmyth 2
She didn't spell anything wrong. Unless you were talking about punctuation or capitilization, there is no gripe here friend.
ShelbyyCakess 0
sounds like such a nice man lol.
Carlo3 0
wow mean!!
sbuxchica0918 0
sorry but that's rather funny, I once told my little brother tue FTL on his underwear stood for fat tubba lard still funny to this day :-)
TheTAJ 1
...?
lmaoatall 6
yeah- I'm sure your brother will treasure always that loveing moment that you bestowed upon him. hope he kick your ass. I know my brother would have!
esines 9
Wow you're a bitch
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Why are there so many Shamus. D:
TSimes 0
just another chapter to OP's daddy issues
collegegirl87 0
Oh my gosh that is so mean!! FYL I do love seaworld though!! Just ignore him and have fun!
haileemarie7 6
Your dad's a dick...
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
a whale dick is called a dork; therefore, her dad should be a dork .
shnipe 4
lose some weight!
xoCOURTNIEox 0
wow that's harsh :/ kick your dad in the balls & walk off !
LaughinStock 16
lmao yea do what she says so ur dad can kick ur ass later