Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just chase him with it and pretend it's a shark that wants to eat him. Then grab him and tickle him mercilessly. I'm sure after that he'd wish he'd said it was a whale.
watermelon1 35
At least he didn't call you a whale, and then throw the toy at you.
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Comments (111)
illmatic2 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Know your place, bitch. He obviously isn't someone you want to **** with.
DENlAL 2
OP wasn't necessarily F'ing with him.. Was just correcting him, because chances are they way older than 4, and you'd assume they'd know the difference between sharks and whales. It was an FML because all OP did was correct them and next thing you know, they then found out how it feels when toys are launched at your face.
xblair 11
Kids right now are just brats it makes me sick
alliewillie 22
Honestly, welcome to the world of small children. Anyone whose ever had one/lived with one/babysat one would tell you suck it up, that's how they can be. Life = not f*cked.
boofgall 16
Plus, he's a FOUR year old, how is that someone to fear?
kxxjoejoexxk 8
25 get a sense of humor
illmatic2 16
Damn, I thought I was getting thumbed down because my joke sucked, not because y'all thought I was being serious.
DENlAL 2
49- I'm being realistic. Not everything has to be sarcasm, nor seriously taken. We all have opinions. I've had a toddler throw toys at me, and it does not feel good. Its FML for OP because he was only correcting and the toddler responded in a painful way.
MrPlopper 9
You sir, are a clock juggling thunder **** that should die in a hole.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just chase him with it and pretend it's a shark that wants to eat him. Then grab him and tickle him mercilessly. I'm sure after that he'd wish he'd said it was a whale.
kakarot2 11
Or scream WHALE and throw the toy back at him
DrDilllonReese 12
Or scream beached whale and drop him off in the desert.
YoungMisfit 9
._______________________.
YoungMisfit 9
Whale
sens3sfailing 25
Maybe whales are sharks and sharks are whales and this kid is the only one who knows! ...then again it could just be that the kid is a normal 4 year old...
Smashhoof 15
75- Your name suggests that your senses are failing, but the only sense I see failing is your common sense.
sens3sfailing 25
90-my name is a reference to a band named senses fail who drew it from becoming one with nature until your senses fail. And it seems everyone's sense of sarcasm is failing because at the end I turned it off and showed I was being overly dramatic. Sorry if people didn't pick up on it, but I see many reasons why whales are not sharks and didn't think commenters cynical enough to think I actually believed the bullshit I was spewing.
zomgbies 17
Brotip #1735 it doesn't matter how gangsta you are. When a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone. You answer that shit.
FrozenIceHawk 7
This is a tough one... Ima go with FYL, but keep in mind that this kid is only 4 and may have certain tendencies. Like throwing things when he's wrong.
wallandpiece 16
Obviously the right thing to do is correct him. It's important to make sure kids learn facts otherwise it's likely they'll be stupid and / or ignorant later in life.
Sandman366 6
This isn't a tough one...Ima go with "thumb down", but keep in mind children should know the difference between a whale and a shark. Maybe should keep that temper in check as he grows up.
chellyX92 8
Either way, its not right that he throws thing period.
konstantinos616 17
Ahhh, the youth of America...
MURIKKA 11
Traitor.
konstantinos616 17
The bass?
sens3sfailing 25
The fact you are a youth of America...
SoSoRachel 7
Dude, he was four-.-
MrPlopper 9
So is four!
konstantinos616 17
Sens3sfailing you're not one to talk. You're three years older than me.
Clioo_fml 17
83- she never said SHE wasn't a youth? She just meant that you are one.
KiddNYC1O 22
Shoot, I'm 10 years older than you and I'm still part of the youth of America...
loufol22 5
Why is this on FML? This is cute and funny. And he's standing his ground. He's a little bad ass
watermelon1 35
At least he didn't call you a whale, and then throw the toy at you.
fridabloman 3
Well, don't correct a four year old
rocketiquette 20
No, do. The ass whipping is missing from throwing said toy. Correct bad behavior when young so that way they don't turn into dickwads when older
Noxialis 10
@59 - They usually end up as dicks either way.
ryry013 6
Like you? Most people here seemed to turn out fine.
Noxialis 10
@73 - Yeah, like me. Mostly I was just in a bad mood yesterday, though.
mommy_me 4
dumb ass cousin of yours
Haiana04 3
He's only 4 years old, bitch.
raisinbam 13
Fool.
raisinbam 13
He could've been warning you.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
"Duck!" "No Billy, that's not a duck that's a sni—..." *gets head blown off* "I twied ta wawn ya!"
NeonPopRocks 14
Billy's my younger bros name....
IchimaruGin 5
"WHAAALE!"