Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
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Top comments
KatrinaKitten 16
You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
I like cupcakes.
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Comments (121)
waterboy14 7
instnt1nfction 17
giraffes are awesome, they need to be shown some respect. they are evil creatures that are about to eliminate the human race and are currently plotting their plans through mental powers with their antennai. they will kill us all if we don't listen to them. they can fly and will turn to crazy vampires and will suck our blood.
almost3 0
dads joke around, no need to right an FML about sarcasm from a family member
loveorhate90 0
write*
instnt1nfction 17
and to continue, they can shoot laser out of their eyes, and they can chop you up with their necks of steel
MurphyS94 4
Wow. That's pretty damn funny... I like your dad.
Snake867 1
Normally, I would be right there with all the others in agreement that you should probably think about losing some weight if you don't like fat jokes targeted at you. But, in this case I take your side, it's your dad, he should love you no matter what you are and not joke about something that obviously would upset you.
mercuryburst 0
If he said it sarcastically I don't see the problem. Even if he didn't, I still don't see the problem.
eag05 0
- jaja fat bitch!
loveorhate90 0
Seaworld buys their dolphins and whales from people who kill 23,000 dolphins a year. ironic huh?
paradiseisland01 0
sorry to say it but your dad is a idiot ,please you have to forgive him he was only joking, there's people always say things that they really didn't mean it . sorry if he hurt your feeling there's really no excuse for that . but please forgive him.