Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was, "Don't, you'll regret it later." FML
lunaXXdennice
Miss Charlotte, north america 32 years-old In a relationship
What the hell am I doing here?
Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML
Foot in mouth syndrome
Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML
Trust the science
Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML
Smoking is so cool
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML
Dad jokes!
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Useful idiot
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML