Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
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Top comments
KatrinaKitten 16
You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
I like cupcakes.
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Comments (121)
bigdaddy18 0
tell your dad where to shove it
birdfreak 24
at least he was being sarcastic?
caviar_fml 2
LOL
perdix 31
I put on a joke that took a whole different angle on the Shamu comparison, but I guess it was too politically incorrect, so it got removed. Your loss, it was pretty funny, (and not at all disparaging.) Oh, well.
itsxbabyxjay 0
Cool Story, Bro.
itsxbabyxjay 0
Cool Story, Bro.
Chris9154 6
ur dads kinda of an a*% h^#£
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
I think you were going for ASSHOLE. you're welcome
lmaoatall 6
your dads a bully. but don't worry, he was probably bullied when he was a kid. just learn from his mistake and don't do it to your kids. my parents did shit to me that was uncool for a parent and I vowed that I wouldn't do the same to mine. and I haven't.
Holybatman 16
I think you took this FML a little too seriously. I was bullied a lot in elementary school, so I know it can hurt, but in this case it was a joke. My dad makes sarcastic jokes quite a bit, and it's obvious he's not being mean, he's just teasing. It's funny that I read an older FML this morning in which a friend of the OP jokingly hugs him while he's in line buying condoms, making it look like he's gay. That was an embarrassing moment, yet all the comments praised the friend for the joke, whereas most of the comments here say that the father is an asshole. I thought the joke was funny, and should be taken for what it is, rather than mistaken as proof of child abuse.
lindsaylu98 0
thats something my dad would say and then id get upset and hed be like i was just kidding soooo i know what it feels like OP
LilFlash81 0
lmao smh yu big as **** hahaha
Rosa_La_Hermosa 5
what does smh mean?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
*shakes my head* I dunno.